Such Lovely Freckles

It is time to move on to greener pastures...

2012-01-06T06:33:00.000-08:00

Well, this blog has become largely a paleo blog, and therefore I am moving it to a new location:

Grokette's Primal Musings

I will certainly write here again, when the muse kisses me gently. ;)

So long.... Me!

The Carb Flu

2011-07-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book called Run Like A Mother, written by Sarah Bowen Shea and Dimity McDowell. I bought the book in April when I picked up my packet for the Race for the Roses Half Marathon. I shook hands with Sarah, who lives right here in Portland. She is as tall as I am, which I loved of course.

The book is a pretty good read, although I'll say that there is not a whole lot of new information for me. It's more entertaining than educational if you will. However, when they get to talking about nutrition, I couldn't help being a little turned off. I believe it is Sarah who wrote about doing a 14 day trial of the South Beach Diet. She is a carb junkie, loves all bagels, pasta, and other grains, and was hesitant about trying low carbing. But well, as a contributor for Runner's World Magazine, she agreed to experiment with the South Beach Diet.

Obviously it could only go wrong. She felt miserable for the entire 14 days, but instead of going a little deeper, she quickly dismissed the low carb diet as no good and happily went back to her old ways of eating lots and lots of carbs. I don't claim to hold the truth for everyone and everything. But I was turned off by how quickly she was to argue that runners should not eat a low carb diet. Why?

1.) The South Beach Diet is not the way to go. Yeah, sorry, that's my opinion, and I'm sticking with it. With this diet you still rely too heavily on grains. Those need to go. Period!

2.) Fourteen days are not enough! She quit right at the point when her body was getting used to this different kind of fuel. I'm arguing that, being a carb junkie, she should have stuck with it for at least 30 days.

3.) A little more research into the subject of low carbing would have led her to the paleo/primal way of life, and with that to forums where nutrition for runners is discussed in great detail.

Her experience could have been an entirely different one had she known about the carb flu, adjusted her running accordingly, and stuck it out for at least one month. I remember all too well, how miserable I felt for a couple of weeks. Getting the sugar and grains out of my body completely took some time. But once I got past it, I felt better than ever before. Before long runs I do eat more carbs to keep my body fueled, but I do not need pasta or bagels in order to run better.

As a matter of fact, I ran a much better Half Marathon this year than I did last year, when I still ate according to conventional wisdom. Last year I ran an average 12minute/mile. This morning, during my Team in Training run of 9 miles, I ran an average of 9.5minute/mile. Granted I'm working out differently, but honestly, I think that eating like this has made a huge difference in my overall performance. (It's made me about 30lbs lighter, too!)

Read all about the carb flu at Mark's Daily Apple.

BTW: Current weight: 154lbs. At a height of almost 6feet this is better than I ever expected!!

Success Stories - What's not to love about them?

2011-07-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's Friday... and every Friday I make sure to read Mark's Daily Apple. I have been a fan of Mark since the day I found out about him. Every day he posts a new article. And so far every single one has been well written, well researched, and while they tend to get really long at times, his website is still the one I go to most of the time.

Fridays, however, are my favorite day. Friday is Success Story day. And I love nothing as much as a good paleo/primal success story. Today Dean from Being Primal is featured in the success stories. Besides a well written piece he provides a little bit of eye candy for this gal here. Yes, I'm a sucker for eye candy. So, really, who can blame me for never missing a Friday post?

Grok on, fabulous people. It's a sunny day here in Oregon. It's about time!

The 30 Day Challenge

2011-06-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

When I decided to go paleo, it was a decision for life. Everything I read about eating this way made sense to me. I no longer felt like I would deprive myself of good things, because those good things really were the bad things.

Grains, sugars, highly processed foods, soy and corn in everything... it's just not that good for the human body. And I noticed positive changes right away... in my appearance, in my well-being. Life is better now.

Beautifully, with paleo not just being a fad, you are free to tweak things a little, so they fit your needs. Of course this also means, that sometimes you may fall off the bandwagon a little. With that I don't mean, that you'll start eating grains again, or stuff your body with a ton of sugar. In my case it was simply a little more of everything. More wine (can't live without wine), more dark chocolate, more nutty desserts. I got really creative, inventing desserts and snacks, that my whole family would appreciate.

And so, after several months of feeling incredibly good and healthy, I became a bit of a slacker. Not that this was a terrible thing. I maintained my weight, and I ate only paleo approved foods. But somewhere inside I knew I just didn't feel quite right anymore. I needed to recommit.

I started my 30 Day Challenge yesterday. Honestly, it's not that much of a challenge. I can't drink any wine during this time, and no chocolate at all. Fortunately I do not experience the same withdrawals as I did in January, when I went cold turkey from living a life of conventional wisdom foods to strictly paleo. It is only Day 2, and already I feel more rested. I had a delicious breakfast of eggs and bacon this morning, went to the gym, where I rode the spinning bike for 30 minutes and did 30 (THIRTY!!) real push-ups. Yes, I took one minute breaks after each set of 10. But, good grief, this is the first time in my life that I can do real push-ups! I'm 36!!

Check out the little food plate up in the corner. After the new food plate was released a few weeks ago, people started tweaking it. This is one of the paleo versions. Mine would likely have a little more protein on it, but otherwise that's pretty much how I eat. Life is good!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now for something completely different:
Remember I self-published a book in April? Well, the book is available on Amazon, and you can take a quick peek inside before you buy it. It's now available for $9.99 on paperback, and for only $3.99 on the Kindle. It's a good book, a nice and easy summer read. CHECK IT OUT!
http://www.amazon.com/Planned-Gabrielle-Moon/dp/1461085543/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1309277440&sr=8-1

Snacking fun

2011-06-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

Snacking has been a big issue in my life, ever since I went primal (yes, I'm calling it primal now, because I do in fact eat some cheese and butter). In a constant effort to excite my children about this new way of life, I have been baking banana nut muffins, coconut flour brownies, baked kale chips (not a favorite around here), and created my very own version of almond butter balls. All of these things are of course quite delicious if somewhat time consuming to prepare.

I will start posting recipes for these things here, starting with the banana nut muffins, courtesy of my running buddy B.

Ingredients
2 cups Almond Meal
1/4 cup ground Flax Seed
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Baking Powder
4 tsp Cinnamon
5 ripe Bananas
2 tsp Honey
4 Eggs
1 tsp Vanilla

Optional: Walnuts (1 1/2 cups), Dark Chocolate Chips (1 1/2 cups), blueberries (2 cups) or anything else you like to have in a muffin!

Preheat oven to 375. Mix wet ingredients in one bowl, mashing or blending the bananas well (Unless you like banana chunks in your muffins). Then mix all the dry ingredients in a 2nd bowl. Blend the two bowls together. Spoon into well greased (coconut oil) muffin pans.

Bake for 22-24 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Of course, sometimes you just need a quick snack. For such cases I recommend fruit or vegetables dipped in almond butter. A celery stalk can have almond butter spread all over it... a few raisins on top, and the snack is interesting for kids, too. :)

Have you ever tried Chia seed pudding? It's not for everyone. But if you're into the ooey gooey Chia seeds, try mixing them with water to desired consistency, add some sweetener (honey or maple syrup will do), and enjoy.

And finally, how about some fruit salad? Just add a variety of fruits (berries, bananas, maybe an apple, an orange) in a bowl. For protein add a tablespoon or two of almond butter, and if you're into coconut milk, you might add a little bit of that too. This is an absolutely delicious treat, and the kids love cutting up fruit.

Have a wonderful day.

The Case of the Incredibly Shrinking Shady Lady

2011-06-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

On the picture above you can see my best friend, Shady Lady. The date: Christmas Eve, 2009. (The other two people are my parents.)

This was a time in Shady Lady's life, when things weren't so rosy. Her husband was gone in Afghanistan for a year. She struggled with being an only parent and with a sweet, little daughter, whose emotional reaction to her father's absence, resulted in physically painful eczema.

It was also a time when Shady Lady, as she was looking at her body, made peace with the fact that this is who she was. Being a busy homeschooling mom in her mid-forties, she was convinced, that this is just what she looks like, and quite frankly, she was just fine with it. :) She was an inspiration to me, because she made very conscious decisions about the foods that went into her body. I was convinced, too, that "at this age" that's just how it is.

Well... not so fast! In October of 2010 SL and I stood in her kitchen, and she proceeded to tell me that she planned to go on something called the paleo diet. She already had to be gluten free for a number of reasons. Now she would also cut all grains, sugars, starches, and legumes... I looked at my best friend in disbelief. Was she nuts? Why would anyone give up on rice and pasta... on delicious milk chocolate and cheese! She clearly had gone and lost her mind.

And so, because there wasn't a whole lot of support from anyone, she didn't last very long and gave up this new way of life.

Until early February of 2011, that is. You see, in January, my running buddy B., told me about the paleo diet. Unlike October I focused on the foods I was allowed to eat as supposed to the foods that were forbidden. I hopped on the paleo wagon and off I went, and I felt great!

But this is not my story. About two weeks after I changed my eating habits, Shady Lady, who of course had already done a lot of research about this lifestyle, jumped on board... this time with the support of friends... and slowly also her husband, the Lizard King. Let me add here, that neither Shady Lady nor I started to eat like this for the purpose of losing weight. It was a pleasant side effect... but the main purpose was to get healthy... to eat the foods our bodies can easily digest.

Well... introducing a radical change such as this almost always will result in some weight loss. And in Shady Lady's case, the transformation has been nothing short of incredible. As of last week, she was down 28lbs! Check out her AFTER picture:

Yes, people, that is Shady Lady now! She looks fabulous, doesn't she? (psssst... she's 46!) I consider myself lucky to have been there all the way. Both, Shady Lady and I, found one thing incredible. It is the fact, that it was so easy. As soon as the body is cleansed, you no longer crave the junk food. You start feeling better pretty much right away. And the weight just came off... yes, I mean that. It just came off. Pound after pound after pound.

Of course, having seen this kind of success has made her wonder, what is possible. Could she actually lose more weight? After all, it still is coming off ever so slowly at this point. So yesterday she decided to go on a 30 Day Challenge... She started it with a 36 hour fast, during which she ate nothing, and simply drank tea with heavy cream. For the next month she will not eat any fruit or nuts. She will stick with meat, vegetables, eggs and just a little bit of dairy.

A year ago I would have called her crazy. Who can live like that? I would have said something like, "Hey, knock yourself out, but I'm here to enjoy life, and there is no possible way you can enjoy life if you deprive yourself like this."

Today, though, I am thrilled with and for her. I love her success, and I admire her determination. I know she'll stick with that 30 Day Challenge, and she will come out on the other end an even better person (if that's even possible... because she's so darn awesome already!). I know, she is not depriving herself... I've learned that it's the other way around... the rest of us are over-indulging. Yeah, let that thought sink in for a moment. :)

Shady Lady, you rock! I love you! And I totally support all the way!!

Getting your family (your children!!) on board

2011-05-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

As you know I've been "doing this" for about 5 months now. I've become a happier, skinnier, healthier person in the process, and my family loves the new "me". My husband climbed on board pretty much right away, and with the exception of his beloved beer he is living the paleo way along with me.

Things were a little tougher with my children. I'm proud to raise them as critical freethinkers. They question just about everything I do, and it's sometimes a struggle. I found myself talking to a wall, when I introduced this new way of life and tried to reason with them about the benefits of living like this. After all, to them this meant that everything they loved (cookies, pancakes, rice, pasta, bread etc etc) would go away. Sure, the almond flour pancakes were quickly adopted instead of the "real thing". But this didn't mean, that they would buy into the paleo lifestyle altogether.

Granted, they ate all the meals I cooked without complaints. And if I packed the right snacks for on the road (fruit salad, bars, nuts etc) they would be happy. But over the course of a couple of months I found myself having daily discussions about why sugar is bad, why fat is good, and why I wanted them to become paleo kids.

I am not one to push things on my children. Okay, so I gently nudge...
I did, however, get pretty frustrated with the resistance around here. Let me just confirm that this was not about meat or no meat, or vegetables vs no vegetables. This has never been an issue, and I am proud to say that my children eat almost anything. No, this issue was solely about breakfast (paleo breakfasts can consist of things that especially my daughter will not touch for breakfast) and snacks. After all, the world is full of sugary, floury deliciousness. And well, yes, it's great that mom is feeling so much better these days. Hooray for her. But please, leave us kids alone with this paleo stuff.

And then something happened. Actually, a conversation happened. I ranted to my friends about how difficult it was, how I had daily discussions about our food, and about just how sick of it I was. I was given a simple piece of advice. Give them more control in the matter.

More control! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? My children are very much used to being involved in the decision making process around here. Why not about the food too? It was a no-brainer.

The next day I sat down with my daughter (who was a lot more critical than my son) and told her about my plan to include her and her brother in the decision making process of what foods we eat around here. This includes main meals and snacks... and of course the most important breakfast. My daughter agreed to eating eggs twice a week. In return she gets to decide on her own breakfasts the rest of the week. Generally this will be almond flour pancakes, fruit salad (with a big scoop of almond butter), shakes (coconut milk, almond butter, and fruits), homemade nuts-and-seeds-granola and such. Of course neither of my children ever turn town a couple of strips of bacon.

Yesterday we made brownies with coconut flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, honey and eggs. Today I made a chocolate/hazelnut bread spread which they can eat on the coconut flour bread I bake... or with apple slices... or just a spoonful at a time.

And so, my children are (mostly) on board. Why mostly? Well, again, I'm not one to push and punish. When they are out and about, eating at a friend's house or just have to have that gluten-y treat from the bake sale... so be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you don't like reading about poop, stop here. :)

My son, after eating the paleo way for a few days, came out of the bathroom one morning, announcing that his poop was green. And that, in his opinion, was just sick and wrong. I told him, it was actually quite normal, as he transitioned into this new way of eating. He was a little weirded out at first but took my word for it. :) Good boy.

Racing to Save Lives

2011-05-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm writing today's post to ask for your help.

My new friend Alex is 6 years old and has leukemia. He's fighting for his life right now, and I am deeply moved by his story. Please check out his blog here: Alex's battle.

On October 16, 2011 I will run the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco, in honor of Alex. What a wonderful thing it would be, if blood cancers like lymphoma and leukemia could get healed for good. Already the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has raised millions of dollars to help patients like Alex.

This is my very first marathon. It's an exhilarating time for me. I have lots and lots of training ahead of me. But I'm optimistic, as I've just completed two half marathons within a month.

If you would like to make a donation (and please know, that every dollar helps), please click on My Fundraising Page! Make a donation, however small it may be, and then, please share the link with your family and friends. We CAN make a difference. THANK YOU!

Things I think about during a Half Marathon

2011-05-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

Ya see that big smile on my face? Don't think for even a moment, that I'm smiling like that because I'm some super runner who could go on for hours. This smile is the smile of a woman who is incredibly relieved to see the finish line, because there is no way she could have made it for even one more mile.

Yep, I was done, and seeing my family cheer and call out to me, that was the greatest moment of my Mother's Day. I couldn't have been happier to see them. ;)

In the afternoon I was chatting with some friends about what went through my head throughout the race, and looking back, it's actually quite hysterical, so I will share with all of you. Maybe you'll get a good laugh out of it as well. Before I give you access to my brain though, let me tell you a little about what the race was like. It was a flat route for the entire 13.1 miles, and we ran the same loop twice. "We", being 3,000 runners! The weather was actually perfect for running a race... overcast and cool. Couldn't have asked for a better running day.

And so, here it goes.

First loop:

"Oh, this is easy. I could do this for hours."
"Damn Runkeeper. Why is it not counting my distance? Fine, I'll turn it off."
"Look, grass. I'll run on that." (Reminder: I run in the Vibram Five Fingers)
"Ha! Haven't heard that song in ages."
"Oh, hey there, J.J." (That was something I actually said. LOL)
"Cool country road."
"Wow, I like her stockings."
"What the heck is it with those stockings? Are they supposed to be good for something? I wonder if they're compression stockings."
"Nice butt. I wonder what my butt looks like in these pants."

Beginning of second loop:

"Great, why is there a rock in my shoe? You're supposed to keep rocks out, Vibrams!"
"I hate this song. Why'd I put it on there?"
"Love that shirt. Must remember that line." (Did I remember the line? Nope!)
"Hey, where'd this speedy chick come from?"
"Finally, back on the grass."
"Damn, my left foot hurts."

Around mile 9:

"Phhhh, I really don't like running all that much."
"Why do I keep doing this?"
"Hello-hooo... is there a water station anywhere?"
"Okay, what's up wit this? Am I getting slower or are they getting faster?"
"Ouch, my left foot, damn it."

Around mile 11:

"I will NEVER run a marathon. As a matter of fact, I think I'll tell B. that I'm done running."
"Stupid me. Why'd I buy that "love to run" necklace? I hate running."
"Hey, you, tall, big girl in the pink shirt! You will NOT cross the finish line before me!"
"Ha, told ya, you weren't faster than me."
"Damn it, I told you not to cross the finish line before."
"Neener neener. I'm beating you!!"

Mile 13:

"Oh my gosh, that's it. I did it!"
"There they are! Cool!!" (They being my family.)
"Woooohoooooo!!!" (Calling out to my family.)
"And I'm done!"

About two hours later:

"I wonder how I can improve my running, so I can be in even better shape during the next race."

Yep, that's how it happened. Lots of random thoughts. Somewhere in there I was also thinking about a Facebook conversation I'd had with a friend, about what my next post for this blog might be, and how incredibly hungry I would be for the rest of the day.

Burgers, sausages, and bacon hit the spot in the afternoon. Of course I'm still craving lots of protein today. Steaks for dinner, baby!

Paleo is not a diet... it's a lifestyle

2011-05-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was told again this morning by an online friend that she admires my willpower. This came after I had said that I no longer eat the delicious German Milka and Rittersport chocolate. She also said she likes to occasionally enjoy a piece of chocolate.

Well, I do, too. I love chocolate. I simply don't eat milk chocolate anymore, because 1) I have eliminated almost all dairy, 2) it's full of sugar. And as we all have learned by now, sugar is bad news. I do eat dark chocolate. And I do so at least three times a week. I love, love, love chocolate.

Of course this makes me think of all the other times in the past 5 months that people have admired my so-called willpower. They almost seem to imply that I'm somehow keeping myself from truly enjoying life. They talk to me like I'm on a terrible, horrible diet that requires lots of willpower every day, because I can't eat _______________ (insert bread, rice, cereal, chocolate and other sugar-laden foods).

Let me tell you, once and for all, that I am not on a diet. I changed my way of eating from mostly processed carbs, grains, and sugars to mostly unprocessed foods like meat, vegetables, fruits, and nuts. Yes, dark chocolate is allowed. :) I eat it in moderation, and I enjoy it immensely.
I don't suffer. I don't need any kind of crazy willpower. The fact is, once all the sugar is out of your system, you no longer crave it. You don't need it, and you don't want it.

It is when I do eat sugar that I suffer. I get headaches and stomach aches, and I feel moody. It is when I eat grains that my body revolts.

Going paleo, in my world means, that you make a lifestyle change. And you make that change for good. It means, you did your homework, you read up on the subject of primal living, you are convinced it's right, and you won't go back.

You find joy in food like you haven't in years. Every meal becomes a celebration. And every piece of chocolate tastes heavenly. Every glass of wine is a truly delicious treat. No willpower involved, just pure joy. :)

And that's it for my rant. :) Off to the first Farmers' Market of the season. Hoorah!

Are you born to run (barefoot)?

2011-05-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

I started running in November of 2009. No, wrong... I did start before then, but I was convinced that humans are not born to run, and so I quit. Until November of 2009. That's when a friend told me she was training for a half marathon. I don't know why, but I asked her if I could train along with her. Of course she agreed.

I ran my first half marathon in 2 hours and 36 minutes. Not fast, but I made it through that finish line amidst the applause and cheers of hundreds of people. What a moment! There truly is no experience like the very first time you cross a finish line, exhausted and happy. I had accomplished something I had never even dreamed of. And then... the knee pain took over. And boy, was I in a lot of pain. I could barely walk to the car, and I sat on the couch for the rest of the day. It took about a week to heal, a week during which I missed running more than I thought was possible.

And I continued to run. Knee pain and all. About a month after my race I picked up Born to Run, a book by Christopher McDougall. I devoured the (true) story of Christopher traveling to Mexico, and meeting the super athletic tribe, the Tarahumara, who run, without shoes, like the wind. I learned, that, indeed, the human animal WAS born to run. We have ancestors who had the amazing ability to outrun their prey. Sure, the animals were faster, but our ancient ancestors lasted a lot longer... without shoes!!!

And it makes sense, doesn't it? Of 206 bones in the human body, 52 alone are in our feet. Yes, we have 26 bones in each foot. We have an amazing set of muscles in our legs, we have an achilles tendon, which makes running possible for us in the first place... and we have a rather impressive gluteus maximus ~~on which to sit all day long ,~~ another awesome running tool. We are runners by ~~design~~ evolution.

Humans ran and ran and ran. Until the 1970s either barefoot or wearing thin running flats. Enter Nike... maker of the bigger and better and more cushioned running shoe. Suddenly we were talked into believing, that really, we are NOT meant to run... and if we absolutely had to do it, then please, only in the latest and greatest running shoe, designed by the smartest engineers on the planet. We turned from forefoot runners to heel runners, our stride became longer, our impact harder, our knees more achy. ;)

Of course the barefoot running movement is alive and well nowadays, and I just had to give this a try. I bought a pair of Vibram Five Finger Shoes and ran... pain free ~~happily ever after~~, until winter came. Oh, and it does get wet and cold in the Pacific Northwest. I guess I wasn't committed to the cause quite yet. I dug out my running shoes again and ran until I hurt myself so much, that I had to give it up altogether... for a while that is. Vibram came out with a new version of their five fingers called the Bikila. It occurred to me then, that I really am a runner... why else would I try so desperately to find a way to run? I bought the Bikilas.

In April I ran the Portland Race for the Roses in 2 hours and 26 minutes. I started in my regular running shoes and switched to the Vibrams at mile 4, because I didn't think I could run a full 13miles in my Vibrams yet. This Sunday I will run yet another half marathon, the Hippie Chick. (Are you thinking crazy runner yet? Running on Mother's Day?) And this time I'll run the whole distance in my Vibrams... And this time I will remain pain free. (Okay, so there is always some pain involved when you're a runner... but isn't that true for any sport?)

So how does paleo/primal living have anything to do with this? Well, to some, absolutely nothing, as a number of "paleo people" do not run, with the exception of quick sprints every now and then. For others, like me, running is very much part of living the paleo life. I learned that I don't need bread and pasta to get ready for a long run. As a matter of fact, a banana about an hour before the race will do the trick for me. Hydration during the race is of course vital. And I will also carry some chewable electrolytes. The night before I will have a balanced meal of meat with more vegetables. After the race I will crave lots of protein for the rest of the day.

Yes, I do very much believe, that we are born to run. We may not all enjoy it, but physically, nothing should ever be able to hold us back.

Hey, I'm adding this blog post to Primal Toad's First Ever Primal Den, a paleo/primal blog carnival. Head on over to our host, Primal Toad, for a wealth of information. :)

How our modern paleo lifestyle goes against our nature... Part 2

2011-05-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... I promised Part 2 last week. My apologies!

I'd like you to think about your life. And I'm not talking about vacations... I'm talking every day life... the daily grind, if you will.

How long do you sleep at night?

Do you sleep a full 8 hours? (Did you know, that latest research found that sleeping four hours, then be awake for a couple of hours, then sleep another four hours is actually preferable to the 8 uninterrupted hours we're told to sleep every night?)

Do you live in a suburb and have a long stressful commute to work?

And more importantly, do you like your job?

Do you spend as much time as you'd like doing what you love?

How often do you go outside? Enjoy the weather (sun or rain)?

All of these things make us

1) stressed

2) fat

3) ill (cold sores, headaches, neckaches... any of that ring a bell?).

If you can believe research, Grok (or caveman) did not spend all that much time "working". He/she certainly didn't sit in an office chair all day long eating donuts or m&ms as a snack.
Did you know, sitting is bad for you? Did you also know, that the majority of us sit and sit and sit and sit?

Well, if you've checked out all the links I posted here, you'll know by now, that physically and emotionally the stresses of our lives are making us unhappy and ill.

So the questions remain... What can you do about it? Do you need that job with the 60 commute? Do you need that bigger house with more stuff? Are you getting enough exercise? Are you eating well?

I will admit that, as I'm making more and more changes in my life, I'm also starting to question more and more things. It's a bit of a vicious cycle. You start with homeschooling, gardening, buying local foods, eating grass-fed meats... and suddenly you see more things that you know could be changed, could be improved upon. Yes, for your health and longevity... but also for that day, sometime in the hopefully distant future, when you look back on your life and you wonder, if you did it all right... or if you could lived better, more aware.

It's a journey. I certainly never expected it would take me here. I'm grateful for every day. I'm always hoping to improve, to get better, but I'm not stuck and unhappy.

So, again, think about your life as it is right now... and then, honestly ask yourself if you're doing everything right, or if you could do things better. What are those things? And HOW could you change them? You'd be surprised how quickly you'll think of stuff. :)

How our modern lifestyle goes against our nature... Part 1

2011-04-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

I had suspected for a while, that our modern way of life (go to school, find a job, work from 9 to 5, go home, watch sports, sleep for however many hours you can each night, and do it all again the next day) goes against human nature. But if you're in the middle of it all, with a husband (or wife) who works long hours, and children who go to school, you don't think about it. Quite frankly, you don't have time to think about it.

That was me back in Phoenix. My husband left the house around 7am, came home at 7pm, played with the kids for an hour, then we'd veg out in front of the television for the rest of the night. Moving to Portland changed things around a bit. Ogre (for you new readers, this is my husband's nickname on my blog) works from home, generally eats all meals together with us, and sometimes takes off an entire afternoon to be with us. It changed our relationship (and yes, I'll be honest, it's sometimes harder to have him home all day long). I think we can honestly say that we know each other better after living like this for 5 years.

My homeschool community plays a huge role in my life. We spend a good amount of time, surrounded by other homeschool families. Our children are not raised by us only. They are raised by our community... our village, you might say. It helps us feel connected in an otherwise fairly disconnected world. We've often talked about how ideally we'd live in some sort of modern commune. Sure, we all like to close our doors behind us, when we're done with the day. But can you imagine the advantages of always having a friend nearby to help out, when you need them? You can eat breakfast at your own place or get together with a bunch of your commune member friends and eat as a group. Can you imagine a community garden, chickens, maybe even a cow... and you are not alone in taking care of it all.

Oh, I know, for most of us, it goes against anything we are familiar with, and the sheer thought might scare you, if you've never considered anything like it.

Fact is, we live completely against what is good and healthy for us. Yes, it's what makes our society work. But are we paying a price, that is ultimately too high? As I was starting to do more research around everything paleo/primal, I couldn't help questioning my way of life... but also that of our society in general.

In Part 2 of this post, which I will publish tomorrow, I will go into more detail about what exactly I mean, when I say we're doing everything wrong. Please don't misunderstand: I'm not promoting to change everything back to the way we lived 10,000 years ago. No living in caves and walking and hunting all day long. I'm simply going to give some food for thought, and I'll encourage you to put things into perspective. I'll be very curious to "hear" your thoughts.

For now, I shall get ready for bed. This primal gal likes to turn in early and wake up early.

Grok on!

Confessions of a sugar addict

2011-04-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

Had you told me about a year ago that you thought I was a sugar addict, I would have laughed at you... (a little). I would have told you, that you're out of your mind and to mind your own business. And then I would have gone home, open the kitchen cabinet with my delicious candy and eaten it all. Of course it would have happened in "installments". That means, I would have cleaned, then returned to the cabinet, then unloaded the dishwasher, then returned to the cabinet... etc etc... until it was all gone. Then I would have felt guilty. I would have whined at my husband about how I just don't have any control over myself, and that something's gotta give.

A year later and about 4 months into changing not just my diet but adopted a whole new lifestyle, I know and admit, that I am terribly addicted to sugar. Sugar is the bad guy, sorry to say. It keeps you coming back for more. It messes with your body. And it is in just about everything. Oh, and gluten is also the bad guy, since we're at it. Because gluten gets converted into sugar, once it's inside our gut.

As you know by now, my cravings for sugar have disappeared, and I feel like a better human being all around. All is well. The End!

Wait, not so fast... while it is true that the cravings are gone, they are also not gone. How is that possible? Well, recently I found myself splurging a little more than necessary. A little chocolate here, a little piece of something there. Really nothing to worry about. I stayed with my 90/10 rule. Until yesterday... Yesterday of course, was Easter. And I'm a good Germany mommy, who only buys German crap for her children. Yep, aren't I all that and a bag of chips? I made sure to keep my children's Easter baskets small-ish. The rest of the candy, and there was plenty of it, I put... in the cabinet. Can you see where this is going?

I went for a 7.2 mile run with my friend in the morning, felt like a vegetable for the rest of the day. Later in the afternoon, everyone was out and about. The kids were playing with their friends, my husband ran an errand, and I watched "Father of the Bride". And then I remembered the chocolate in the cabinet and decided there really was nothing wrong with having a piece or two. Well, a piece or two turned into a binge of gigantuan proportions. I felt awful, was ashamed of myself... and flushed down the sorrow with a glass of wine, and another one.

Wow, didn't see that coming at all. It hit me like a brick smack in the middle of my face (and my poor, achy stomach). After 4 months of living a really awesome paleo life, I have to admit to myself, that I still need to refer to myself as a sugar addict, and that, in order to keep living my life the way I want it, I have to stay from the sugar trap for good. Today I'm still feeling a little sick to my stomach.

But what's probably the most important about it all... I had to forgive myself. It happened. Nothing I can do about it. Now I have to move on. I had eggs for breakfast and a cup full of blueberries. Delicious. I'm going to be drinking plenty of water. My body is craving it.

Have a great Monday, everyone. And if you splurged yesterday, well, so be it. Get over it and move on. :)

Farmers Market and Grass-Fed Meat

2011-04-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

I know I was going to post some recipes this time, but here is an article I wrote for a magazine that they ended up not wanting. ;)

Once upon a time I lived in a world ideal for any paleo being. The small Southern German town I called my home consisted of 800 people, young and old, two farms, a butcher, a baker, and a cemetery. Every other evening my brother and I were sent to the farm to buy raw milk fresh from the grass-fed cow and eggs from happy pastured chickens. Frequently the butcher drove up to one of the farms, picked up a cow or other livestock, killed it right behind his shop, and sold the fresh meat to us. We grew our own vegetables, and whatever we couldn't grow on our own, we bought at the farmers market or directly at the farm.

Really only one thing was wrong with this idyllic picture. We ate bread for almost every meal, pasta, rice, and potatoes the rest of the time. Growing up and moving to Arizona, had me stray far from the beautiful world I grew up in, and only when I moved to Oregon, did I return to the roots (sans grains and sugar) and learned just how important these things I used to take for granted really are for my own family and for so many people around us.

Our local farmers' market starts in May and goes on all summer until early November. Every week, Oregon farmers sell their delicious produce and grass-fed meat to eager consumers. Sure, your lettuce may cost a tad more than the one you buy at the store. But not only is it larger (and organic!), it is also the product of hard labor. During an enlightening conversation with one such farmer, who I'm also proud to call my friend, I learned just how many hoops a farmer has to jump through in order to sell produce and other products at the farmers' market. From a number of certifications (such as egg handlers license and meat handlers license among others) to proving that your scale is accurate, farmers have to provide all of this information prior to applying for a stand at the farmers' market. In addition, most farmers' market managers will ask for a sample of the produce to be sold at the market, before they give their approval. Of course none of this is free to the farmer. How much does the average farmer make during the summer season at the market? Not as much as you might think. According to my friend a better year will bring in around $5,000. Not enough to make a living and feed a family, and often a small farmer has a regular day job in addition to the work on the farm. So why do they do it? “Because it's the right thing,” says my friend who believes with all of her heart, that the farmers' market is so much more than just a way to purchase food. It brings together a community. It's a social event inviting locals to hang out, listen to the bands, eat lunch, and truly appreciate the good things in their lives.

My children love our farmers' market and are always impressed by how much better the fruits and vegetables taste, compared to what we are forced to buy from the large grocery stores in the winter. We happily spend a few bucks more, if it means we can offer a little bit of support to those local farmers, who work hard all year to bring us nature's gifts.

Two years ago a new vendor set up stand at our farmers' market. He sells fresh, organic meat from pastured animals only. Of course the benefits of eating grass-fed meat are too many to count. Grass-fed meat looks and tastes better than grain-fed meat. But what's more important, cows for instance, were not intended to eat corn or other grains such as soy. The meat from grain-fed cows is much higher in omega-6 fats, and this imbalance ultimately poses a health risk for the human consumer. In grass-fed cows the omega-6 to omega-3 fats ratio is the recommended 3:1. Additionally grass-fed beef is a rich resource of CLA (conjugated linoleic acid) which, evidence suggests, can reduce the risk of cancer in humans. Add to that a number of other vitamins and minerals contained in grass-fed meat of any kind, and you have enough reason right there to buy grass-fed meat only.

These are all benefits to the modern hunter/gatherer. But what about the cows, chickens, pigs, and other animals? They still get killed, right? Well, yes, it's a world of eat and be eaten. Watched a lion take down an antelope lately? Were he a human, we'd be raising our torches and pitchforks and screaming at the inhumane and brutal killer.

Pastured animals live a rather happy life. They get to see the light of day, eat grass, and develop normal animal behavior as opposed to their feedlot counterparts. A feedlot cow for instance spends a good six months locked in a feedlot with approximately 100,000 other cows. They stand around in their own manure day and night, barely able to move, and they eat. Their diet consists of 95% grains and plenty of antibiotics to kill the dangerous e-coli bacteria, a bacteria most would not develop in the first place, were they actually raised on pasture. Unfortunately the conditions those cows are forced to live in make the use of a variety of antibiotics absolutely necessary for their survival (before we kill them), but at the same time humans' resistance to antibiotics is on the rise as a result to consuming this meat.

The average feedlot cow dies at 14 months of age in a slaughterhouse set up to kill 250 cows per hour.

So why is it, that most of the American population still walks into a grocery store and picks up whatever is on sale? You might call them ignorant or lazy. Maybe they are, but maybe a lifetime of hearing “that's just how it is” has shaped them into who they are today. I will not be the judge of that. The fact is, we are seeing an overwhelming amount of overweight and obese people all around us. Conventional wisdom has not served us well, and it is time for us to open our eyes to this truth and learn to think and act on our behalf and that of future generations.

Wouldn't you love to send your child to buy eggs from happy chickens and buy your meat from the local butcher who bought the cow from the local farmer? Of course, the majority of us will never have the opportunity to do so, and quite possibly some of us don't want to either. But the benefits of living intentionally and buying locally are obvious to all of us. So what can you do?

Find a farmers' market near you. You can start here: http://www.localharvest.org/.

Eat organic, grass-fed meat. If you don't have a health food grocery store nearby, check out http://www.marksdailyapple.com for a listing of states, where cowpooling (you and a number of other people buy a whole cow and share) is available. Another great source is http://www.americangrassfedbeef.com, offering a wealth of information, store locations, and the opportunity to order online if you just can't find a good supply nearby.

Think you can't afford to live like this? Think again! Chances are, as a paleo person you are already spending less on grains, sugars, and alcohol. The cost of those foods does add up quickly. If you create a meal plan once a week and shop for food with “portion sizes” in mind, you are much less likely to over-buy. Learn to cook smaller meals, or have the delicious leftovers for breakfast. Don't care for leftovers? Freeze a full meal for another day. Many other food items, such as coconut oil, can be bought at a discount if you buy in bulk. It will reduce your cost in the longterm.

When it comes down to it there is only thing left to say, and I'll say it with the words of my farmer friend, “It's the right thing.”

How do I get started? (Paleo is not that difficult!!)

2011-04-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

First let me tell you a little about my last two days. Monday night I went out and had Thai food for dinner. I drank a cocktail, and later I ate some chocolate and drank some wine. Mind you, these days I don't eat the delicious German milk chocolate anymore. I eat dark, organic, fair trade chocolate.
I will admit that my dinner wasn't entirely paleo, although eating Thai generally makes it easier to opt for paleo meals. Well, my dinner consisted of mostly meat and vegetables, and a little bit of gluten... and corn. My drink, I'm sure, had plenty of sugar in it. It was delicious though. I had a blast Monday night. It was all around a wonderful evening.

And then Tuesday came around. And I was still doing just fine... until about 4:30 in the afternoon. That's when I started feeling sick to my stomach. I was nauseous, could barely eat my very healthy dinner, and spent the rest of the evening in bed. Needless to say, I'm feeling just fine today, after using the restroom about 5 times this morning. Food poisoning? Or gluten poisoning? I guess I can't be 100% sure that this had anything to do with what I ate 24 hours earlier... but it sure seems like it could be the case.

Soooo... how to get started on this paleo lifestyle? First and foremost, ask yourself the question, "Do I really want to do this? Am I ready?" If you find a bunch of excuses for why you can't stick with it, then maybe it's not time for you quite yet. Or maybe you need a step by step approach... starting with cutting out the grains (CUT THE GRAINS, I'M SERIOUS!), then the sugars, the starches, the legumes. But, if you feel you're ready, this is how you can proceed:

1) Is your family on board with this? Then clean out the pantry. Get rid of it all! All the things you no longer need, why keep them around?
If the family is not on board, well, explain to them why you're going paleo (and who can argue with a happier, healthier parent and spouse!), and that you need them to support you. This means, they eat what you cook. If they choose to fill their bodies with things you can no longer eat, have them NOT bother YOU with it. They're perfectly capable of eating crackers and cookies without your help. ;)

In my case, my family is not really on board with me. Well, my husband is. My daughter is kinda sorta... but my son really dislikes this lifestyle. That's perfectly fine by me. My take on it is, I'm doing this for me right now. I'm leading by example, and I know that the good example I'm setting will eventually rub off on them. I know in my gut, that all of them will eventually understand and appreciate this lifestyle and will join me.

2) Remember the 80/20 rule? Okay, people... let this not be misunderstood. I'm not talking 80/20 each day. I'm talking 80/20 forever. If you eat well 80% of the day, and then stuff your faces with junk at night, you are going to boycott yourselves. Don't do it. My single, most important piece of advice I have for you is to go cold turkey and stay that way for at least one month. You will eliminate cravings! You will no longer feel like you must have that sugary pastry, that bag of chips, or whatever it is that is "dangerous" to you! After your first months, after you've created good habits, that's when you can allow yourself that occasional treat.

3) Surround yourselves with people who think alike. If you don't have those people around you, join an online forum, or well, read my blog and leave comments, and ask for advice. I'll be happy to answer your questions if I can. Doing it completely on your own can be tough. But with a support system in place it will be much easier. You'll feel good about yourself.

4) Read! The Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson is a great book, so is Robb Wolf's The Paleo Solution. Check out Mark's Daily Apple every day for a new blog post. His posts are down to earth, sane, well researched and easy to read. And there is an entire section with success stories for those days when you just need to read about someone who did it. The Before and After pictures are spectacular in some cases.

5) Be prepared for snack time. This is what I found the most difficult, when I started this lifestyle. No more pretzels, no candy, no chips, no sandwiches, no crackers. Yikes!! How will you survive? Well, it's really not that difficult. A handful of almonds (choose raw almonds and soak them!), a celery stick with a teaspoon full of almond butter... Heck, have a couple of strips of bacon, some fruit, some vegetables. Just make sure to always have some protein with your snack. You will feel more filled and last longer until your next meal. But also, if you eat a big enough meal for lunch with food that truly satisfies your hunger, you may not even need that snack.

6) When it comes to preparedness, a shopping list for the entire week can be really helpful. Make a list of meals you'll prepare throughout the week. Remember breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Shop accordingly. You can also cook in advance. If you cook a bunch of chicken breasts and refrigerate them, all you need to do is make a salad, warm up the chicken, et voila, a delicious lunch is served. The same goes for burgers. Why make burgers for just one meal? Make enough for three meals. Then have one for breakfast, together with a cup of broccoli or cooked spinach or salad.

7) Must have treats? You can! Paleo people are incredibly resourceful! :) Banana bread muffins (made of almond meal, bananas, honey, baking powder, baking soda... and you can add dark chocolate chips or walnuts to the mix) are a decadent treat and will be sure to satisfy your craving. Almond balls with figs and coconut flakes... yum! I will post recipes for these treats tomorrow. Now, remember! This is a treat!! Don't let this turn into a habit, especially if you're trying to lose weight.

8) Limit your fruit intake. Don't get me wrong. Fruit is delicious, and you should have some every day, preferably as berries. Blueberries are especially good. But don't overdo it with the fruit. It's full of fructose. And you don't want too much of that in your diet. Go for the vegetables whenever you can.

The Paleo Diet is not a diet. It's not a fad. It's a lifestyle. You're making this change for good. You don't have to do it for just a little while and then go back to your old habits, only to realize that it's not working, and then you'll go on yet another diet. It's not necessary. :)

Have you seen the light yet? ;-)

Tomorrow's post will include some yummy recipes for you.

What's Paleo?

2011-04-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Occasionally people like to poke a little fun at me, because I'm not "really" eating like a caveman. After all, I eat chocolate, I use olive oil, and I'm making a mean Spaghetti sauce. Yeah, and I drink tea from a beautiful cup, I wear clothes, and I live in a house, too! Imagine that! I'm a 21st century human being, and I couldn't help being born into this time. It just happened.

Of course, we all know by now the health benefits of dark chocolate and red wine. There is no arguing with facts. I'll say, though, that I've been using a lot more bacon grease than olive oil lately. Bacon makes everything better. And when I say everything, do take it literally please. Bacon makes chocolate better! It's that good.

Okay, well, what's the Paleo diet? Basically you eat what caveman did. Meat (yes, the human species survived because we were eating meat! Look it up. It's a fact.), vegetables, some fruits, nuts and seeds. And no matter how much fun people poke at you, go ahead and have your glass of wine and that delicious piece of dark chocolate.

10,000 years ago, humans started settling down. They started farming, raising animals, and everything changed right then and there. Over the past 10,000 years we've turned from strong, fit, and healthy to... well... look around you. Double burgers, fries, soda. A day's worth of calories in one meal. Grocery stores are three times as big as they need to be. Grains, sugar, starches fill the center aisles, and we are made to believe by conventional wisdom (don't you hate those two words?), that this is what makes ours a healthy diet. Add high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners to the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster.

But don't take my word for it... look around you. Really observe! Who do you see? What do people look like? How do they feel? Or read some of the amazing success stories on Mark's Daily Apple. The Paleo Diet (LIFESTYLE) is not just a fad. It is here to stay. And please don't tell me that I'm ruining the environment by eating meat. By growing wheat, soy, corn and other crops humans destroyed precious wetlands, nature preserves, and killed off wild animals in the process as well... but hey, it's good for you, right? Okay, no need to dig into this subject any deeper, but if you are really interested, I highly recommend the book "The Vegetarian Myth". It is an exceptionally well written book by a woman who was a vegan for 20 years. No, it's not just about vegetarian bashing. This is an amazing book and offers ideas and arguments.

So, how do you do it? Doesn't it take an amazing amount of willpower? Well, yes, it does. Especially if you are, like me, a bit of a sugar addict. I went cold turkey, because I knew something was wrong with me. But, amazingly, when your head is in it, together with your body, it's really not as difficult as you might think.

1) Stop focusing on all the wonderful things you can no longer eat. If you stop thinking of them as wonderful, you will not struggle so much to give them up. As a matter of fact, after a few weeks living the paleo lifestyle you may just allow yourself a treat. So you buy a bag of crackers, and you eat them all up. They're no longer satisfying your taste buds. And afterward you'll feel like crap. Believe me, I've been there and done that.

2) Check out the long list of things you CAN eat! Meats, fish, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds. Yum! Do a Google search for Paleo recipes. There are so many of them out there.

3) Eat quality food. Yes, you'll end up paying more for grass-fed meat, for eggs from happy chickens, for organic vegetables and fruits. But at the same time you will no longer spend money on bread, flour, soda, candy, rice, and whatever else it is you filled your kitchen pantry with. You don't need it anymore.

4) Drink when you're thirsty. Eight glasses of water a day? It's a myth!

5) Exercise, but not too hard. Don't worry that you won't lose weight. You will!!

6) Resist temptation. I'll admit that in the beginning this is a tough one. There will be plenty of temptations. And there will be the nay-sayers, who will first try to talk you out of doing "this weird paleo thing". Sooner or later you'll be admired for being so strong and driven, and they "could NEVER do it" (Hmmm, reminds me strangely of the homeschooling conversations I used to have with people). If only they knew how good you feel, and how healthy you are, and how you're really not missing anything. :)

7) Go for the 80/20 rule. Even though you're not missing anything (okay, so the occasional bag of potato chips sounds pretty darn delicious), you do live in the 21st century, and you know all about sweet, sugary treats. You may want to go out with your spouse for that anniversary date and have a couple of drinks. I DID! :) Stick with the paleo lifestyle 80% of the time... allow yourself a treat every now and then. No guilt. No excuses. Just live and enjoy.

I generally aim at 95%... I just feel better that way. I don't like the icky feeling I get after indulging in too much sweetness. It works for me like this... and you'll find your way as well.

My next post will be: How do I get started?

Have a wonderful day.

How going Paleo changed everything...

2011-04-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

On April 3rd I ran a Half Marathon... my first race after going Paleo. At the beginning of my Paleo journey I told everyone, that the night before the race I'd eat a nice, big bowl of pasta... because that's what conventional wisdom recommends for the evening before the race. Load up on carbs, and you'll be fine.

And then my Paleo lifestyle changed everything. I learned to eat without all the grains, sugar, and dairy. I learned, that the human body was not made to digest any of those foods, and while some may live the high carb life just fine and without any side effects, I started looking around me, and realized, the majority of people don't. (Yep, there, I said it!) I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, or steak, or chicken, or whatever else I had left from dinner. I became a completely new person, one who no longer needs to load up on pasta, to run a good race. I eat plenty of vegetables, meat, maybe some fruit. For breakfast on my race day I ate a banana. Then I craved meat all day. And I ate and enjoyed every bite of it. I finished my race 10 minutes faster than last year's.

Today I ran a 10k in my Vibrams. Yes, I finally got rid of my running shoes. They were slowing me down. They felt like bricks on my feet. I ran this 10k a full 30 minutes faster than my last one. What an accomplishment. I'm still on a Runner's High... and best of all, I'm not hurting. Nothing hurts today. I feel just the way a healthy human being should feel.

But what else has changed for me, you ask? Well, let me fill you in.

1) I am no longer the sugar addict I used to be. As I was struggling to get my children to eat a healthy diet (or what I believed to be a healthy diet), I also sneaked chocolate and candy on a daily basis. What a liberating feeling to have this chocolate bar sitting in my cabinet without feeling the urge to eat the whole thing right here and now.

2) No more 15 day periods. This may be a taboo subject to some. But I have to mention it here, because this is probably the biggest and most important change I've seen, since I changed my diet. I struggled with long periods for 8 years! It's crazy going from doctor to doctor, only to be told that "nothing is wrong with you physically," or "Face it, nature hates you." Nature hates me? Really? Less than 4 months after changing my diet, I am regular. I have 5 day periods... and they are no longer accompanied by a big, bloated belly and diarrhea (grossed out yet?).

3) 22lbs! That's my weight loss. I've been told by a number of people that losing this much weight in such a short time is not good, not healthy. Well, the fact is, my body was simply waiting for me to do the right thing. Once I did, it knew what to do. Dropping this weight was so easy, I'm still in disbelief! I didn't count calories, I didn't count points. I simply ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. You can't do it, you say? Well, I dare you to overeat on meat and vegetables.

4) I sleep. You know, as in real sleep. As in close your eyes and sleep, and wake up rested. It's amazing to sleep like this.

5) I run. I run the way I should be able to run. I don't feel pain. I don't want to quit. I feel genuinely excited about running a Half Marathon. I was born to run. My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great (etc) grandfather had to outrun his dinner. How lucky am I that he passed his genes on to me?

6) I enjoy my food a lot more than ever before. I taste a glass of wine, and my taste buds go crazy. A little bit of Parmesan on my Spaghetti was always delicious, but now it's simply divine.

7) And finally, I really do no longer need to be shopping in the center aisles of the grocery store. Keep your grains and cereal and processed foods. I'm no longer your slave.

Oh, I know, plenty of people will tell me (and have told me), that they could never live without _________________ (enter your preferred conventional wisdom food here). It's your choice. It's not that you can't. It's that you won't. And that's perfectly fine by me. I'm not here to convert you. I'm simply telling my story.

Enjoy. :)

My blog entry tomorrow: What's Paleo? And how do you do it?

What to do? Delete my blog?

2011-04-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

As the weeks pass me by I find myself frustrated yet again, because I'm not writing anything here. I can't even say why I am frustrated. It's just a blog, right? So I could just write something every now and then and be okay with it. Right???

But the truth is, it just doesn't work like that. Blogging is a lot more than just writing a post here and there for yourself. Might as well just write stuff into your diary. Blogging is about the community. You blog, people read you, they comment, you comment back, you read other people's blogs, you comment there. And that's where the problem is... I don't have time for that. I have a family, two children, I homeschool, I wrote a book (which I'm ready to self-publish in about a week!), I do a lot of reading about the paleo lifestyle, I run... Oh, and there's this thing called my household, and it's NOT pretty, let me tell ya.

So technically I could just quit my blog and go on with my life. But why then can't I seem to get myself to do that? And why can't I find a purpose for this blog? My friend Shady Lady, for instance, she has given her blog a purpose. She posts about unschooling, and it's good.

What do I want to write about? I just don't know.
Yes, I realize this is a great problem to have. Yes, yes, I'm not starving, I have a great life... get a grip already, right? I am so pathetic... ;-)

"This stuff really works..."

2011-03-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, so don't really need convincing anymore, that living primal (paleo) is the one ultimate way to live your life. I know, conventional wisdom would disagree, and I know that vegetarians would disagree even more. But well, I've done my homework. I read a number of books, worked myself through a number of studies, observed the world around me... and well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand, that the Paleo movement is good and right and here to stay. Go ahead and disagree with me all you want. :)

Of course, actually living this lifestyle with all the temptations all around you can be a bit of a challenge every now and then. And this weekend I got a taste of just how nasty these temptations are for the human body (specifically MY body!)

Saturday night my/our homeschooling learning center had its big yearly fundraiser. What a blast. Talented children performing their acts, trivia games, raffles, finger foods and wine made this evening a smashing success. I managed to eat things that are actually allowed... fruit, veggies, just a spoonful of hummus, and some smoked salmon. And I had three glasses of wine. The wine left me happy and tipsy, but not drunk.
Saturday night I slept kinda so so, but woke up fairly rested.

And then came Sunday. I drove my husband to the airport, then stopped by IKEA, where my kids begged for a number of different sweet treats. And of course, since I also love all of these treats, I bought them all. No need to point out how dumb that was of me, thank you very much.
After IKEA we drove into downtown Portland and had lunch at Kells, our favorite Irish pub. I ordered Chicken Curry (cooked with coconut milk and dried cranberries, so still harmless, right?) over French fries. Why yes, of course, they're Irish, so no rice. What a feast! I enjoyed every bite of it. It was incredibly delicious. My children insisted on having bread pudding for dessert. SURE!! Have some!! As a matter of fact, let ME have some too!!!

You see where this is going, yes? Back home we did a little clean up around the house. And then of course it was time for a snack. I had TWO different pieces of candy from IKEA. And I'm not talking two small pieces of chocolate or something like that. I'm talking a total calorie count of about 500 calories. (Are you gasping yet?) What a trip! By dinner time I felt pretty darn miserable. I ate some meat and a couple of tomatoes, drank a ton of water in hopes of cleansing my body with it. (Yes, you may now make fun of me...)

I hit the sack around 10:30... woke up every couple of hours or so, tossing and turning. Woke up at 5:45, which is pretty much my usual wake up time. In my foggy brain I debated whether or not to get up and go to the gym. And finally a voice of reason (where has it been all weekend?) reminded me that if I didn't work out today, I would probably end up being miserable all day. I dragged my sorry self to the gym. I was just picking up some weights when Dave (a guy who also works out every morning) approached me and noticed that I looked tired today. I looked in the mirror... and boy, was he right. Big bags under my reddish eyes, and looking kinda pale.

Yep, I looked like shit, only Dave was nice enough not to put it that way. Back home I made myself some eggs with spinach and drank a big cup of water. I'm back on track, and that's a good thing. Who knew that after just a few (9) weeks of living this way, one weekend of the wrong foods could throw me off like this. And what's worse, I used to feel like this pretty much all the time, and thought it was normal. Welcome to the real world SLF... isn't it so much better???

Paleo Success... or 17lbs in 7 weeks

2011-02-24T08:26:00.000-08:00

Good grief, how did I let time pass me by like this yet again? I have nothing but the best intentions... and then just let it go... again. Is anyone still reading? Well, if not, then I'll still write this for me.

Because yes, after 7 weeks on the Paleo Lifestyle I have lost 17lbs... that's 7.7kg. And it is more than I've lost in a very long time. I don't need more convincing that this is the way to go.

Amazingly, even now I don't miss the grains the way I thought I would. I truly expected to crave bread and pasta and feel deprived and sad. No really, I did. But I started this journey with three very important things in mind:

1) Focus on what I can eat, not what I'm not allowed to eat.

2) Stop looking for alternatives for things such as rice and noodles. No alternatives are needed. And that is that.

3) And of course, don't think breakfast has to be bread and peanutbutter, or bread and nutella or whatever other sugary breakfast foods one prefers. Breakfast can be leftovers from last night. (I started my day with brats and sauerkraut... how is that for a good German leftovers dinner/breakfast?)

I feel better all around. I have more energy, and I feel good about who I am. No more sneaking candy (yes, I used to do that... when I was stressed out or bored or had that afternoon down), and I'm a better person for it. I work out differently. Not as hard as I used to. Go figure.

And finally, I have a support group. I know, there is a support group for everything. But why is that? Because it WORKS! Think about it. Do something on your own... nobody around you does it. Nobody knows about it... and when you tell them they look at you like you've gone and lost your mind. Being surrounded by people who choose to do the same, is incredibly helpful. You get to be excited as a group. You get to share your success stories. And when you really, really feel like pigging out, your friends are there to either stop you... or if it's necessary, to tell you, that you do deserve a treat every now and then.

Speaking of treats: I've heard people talk about cheating, when they ate a banana with a few melted chocolate chips... or even a handful of M&Ms. This is not cheating. It's treating. You don't stop living in the 21st century. You are still surrounded by pizza and burgers and chocolate and chips. And while I do recommend to stick closely to your new diet (which is not a diet at all, as we know by now) in the beginning... there is absolutely nothing wrong to treat yourself to something special every now and then. You may of course find, after several weeks of passing on sugar and consorts, that you no longer enjoy the sweets you used to devour, because your taste buds are now used to quality foods and can no longer handle artificial colors and sweeteners and such.

Well, it's time for my dessert. A bowl of frozen blueberries!

Home is where the heart is...

2011-01-29T10:43:00.000-08:00

When I was a child we had these albums we'd give to people to write poems into. The idea was to have as many poems as possible... and a memory of all of your best friends, family, and even teachers. :) I pulled out my album this morning. It's light blue with a big white heart. Inside the heart stands a little girl, arms folded on her chest. She is looking down quizzically at a boy kneeling next to her, gazing at her admirably.

Inside, poem after poem, little pieces of wisdom and photos of long gone friends (some of whom I found again on Facebook), one from my grandma who died in '95... and one from my mom. I find it almost ironic that my mom of all people would write into my album that home is not necessarily where you grew up, but where your heart is. Because years later she was the one to gently push me away from home... not just in the neighborhood, but across the world, onto a different continent altogether. I know she did so with a heavy heart. She misses me as much as I miss her and my dad and my brother...

All of this is over 11 years ago. Yes, I do miss them. I hate that I can't be there for carnival in February or for the wine fests in September. I would love to be able to just walk to my parents' house and hang out for a while.
And while I lived in Arizona, had you asked me if I would pack up my family and move back to Germany, I would have probably said yes.

But here in Oregon I definitely did find my new home... I feel like I belong here. I love the the four seasons, my mountain that on a good day I can see in the distance. I love to have the beach nearby. I love hiking and berry picking, and weird Portland people. I love my friends and family. I have the very best friends here. I cannot possibly imagine living anywhere else. It's here that I learned what true friendship is... through highs and lows. Oregon is home. And I hope it always will be.

Peace

2011-01-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

Random Ramblings

2011-01-25T10:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting on a miniature chair of the nursery at our homeschool community. My son is playing with two little friends, and my daughter is in her Minstrels and Melodies class. And I feel like writing. Not sure what yet, but I'll come up with stuff.

1) I had a weird dream last night. I was on the run. Not sure what or who I was running away from. At some point I was able to take a break and checked into a small hotel. I sat in the lobby and noticed some books. I picked up one of them and realized that one of them was one of my books that has yet to be published, but in this lobby it was already a bestselling book. I was thrilled to see it, because for some reason I thought that now all I had to do was finish my book and sell it. After all it was on the market already. Don't understand? No worries, I don't either.

2) I woke up from this odd dream, tossed and turned in my bed and went back to sleep. And slipped right into the next weird dream. I was in a pool, swimming to the edge, but could never quite reach it. I swam and swam, and the edge never did come closer. Suddenly I saw myself, as if I was sitting on the outside, looking in... and there I saw myself... this tiny fish, wiggling around, trying to reach the edge without success. I was just getting really frustrated when I woke up again... and at that point decided it's no use trying to go back to sleep.

3) I went to the gym this morning, and for the first time (despite my crappy night) my energy seems to have returned a bit. I was able to run a full 30 minutes on the treadmill without the feeling that I was going to fall off if I ran even one more step. Granted, I took it slow and easy, but I ran. Hooray for me.

4) Today I'm booking my room for my beach getaway the last week in February. I am happy to get away. More than anything I could really use some peace and quiet right now. I looked at pictures from last time I went to the same place. I decided to print some of them out and frame them, then put them up on our bathroom wall. I want to see them all the time, not just occasionally. They make me feel calm and peaceful. And as of tomorrow, they can do so every single day.

5) Homeschoolers are not always happy. They don't always think about what a great life they have. They don't always want to have their children around. They're human. And sometimes they want to dri,ve up to the neighborhood school and drop off their kids. Right now I am struggling, and I know I'll get past it, but for the moment I don't like it much. And I will take as much time as I need to figure it out and love it again. And I know I will. Give me a couple of weeks.

6) I feel like building a fort. A bed fort. Give me some blankets and pillows, and I'll build a fort, and then I'll hide inside all day and read a book or listen to some music, or take a nap, or write into my journal. Building forts is something everyone should do every now and then.

7) Break time... pick up and deliver children to their classrooms. Have a nice day.

So (yesterday) I bought a guitar...

2011-01-24T17:28:00.000-08:00

... a slightly smallish, narrower than normal guitar with nylon strings. I've never played the guitar before. My entire life I was a piano player. But lately, every now and then, I've felt the urge to do something new... to feed my brain with new knowledge. My guitar is black with a white line around the edges. It is shaped just beautifully, and I can't take my hands off it.

I've been feeling a bit beside myself lately. With this guitar I brought a welcome change into my life. I sat down last night and learned to play a few chords. My finger tips hurt, but I didn't care.

This morning I decided to put my new knowledge to work and learn to play a song. Only recently did I discover Johnny Cash. Of course I knew his name. But when I heard him sing for the very first time a couple of months ago, his voice went straight to my heart. I love music, and admire every good singer, but his voice is different, so loaded with emotion and darkness. So I'm learning to play and sing this:

I'm almost obsessed... The laundry is sitting in a corner of my living room untouched. I have to play this song, over and over.

Thank you, Johnny Cash for finding me.

No beach, but burgers

2011-01-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you can't plan ahead, and today was such a day. With a weather forecast of fog and 30% chance for rain, we decided not to go to the beach. If it had been just me, I would have gone, but with kids it just wasn't worth it.
But, and I'm excited about that. The last weekend in February will be my beach weekend. I'll go to my favorite little motel in Lincoln City (nope, not telling you where that is) and spend two days in complete and beautiful solitude.

We did go for a long walk at the Hoyt Arboretum in Portland though. Winter reveals a whole different beauty in the Pacific Northwest. You just have to look more carefully. Between Toothless Fairy and myself we shot some pretty good pictures which I will post soon.

And finally... and I almost forgot about that... I made it through two weeks of Paleo living. In the past two weeks we never went out to eat, because I rediscovered my joy for cooking. I love to cook! :) I'm still a little slow (hello carb flu), but feel great otherwise. I've lost some weight, but have no idea how much, and I don't care to know, because that's not what it's supposed to be about. The fact is, we have eaten some incredibly delicious meals. Tonight we had Bison burgers (and the bison, I'm proud to report did not come from a little styrofoam coffin as a friend liked to call it). I used almond flour instead of bread crumbs, and the result was out of this world delicious. Toothless Fairy decorated our plates with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and olives, and I placed the burgers onto a lovely bed of lettuce, then covered them with two strips of bacon.

Not only did this meal look appealing, it also tasted absolutely divine.
I know I've made the right decision to start the Paleo Lifestyle, and fortunately I have friends who are very supportive of me. Sweet!!

Going to the beach...

2011-01-22T14:52:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we're going to spend the day at the coast. It's one of those rare sunny weekends in Northwestern Oregon, and we have to make good use of it.

I love the Oregon coast more than any other coast I've ever been to. And believe me, when I say that I've been to a few. Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean... I love them all. But there is no place like the Oregon coast. Wild and rugged. In November of 2007 I decided for the first time that I wanted to spend a weekend on the coast by myself. Can you even remotely imagine the luxury of spending an entire weekend without any obligations? Nobody calls you hundreds of times a day. No meals to prepare, no house to clean... It is pure bliss.

Had you asked me 10 years ago, what kind of beach I would prefer, I would have replied without hesitation, "Maldives". White sand, blue water (that you can sit in all day long with ever getting cold), palm trees... sounds romantic, doesn't it?

Well, things have changed a bit. I still like summers at the beach, but you don't know the beach until you go there in the winter, preferably on a dark and dreary day, with the clouds hanging low, and the waves crashing into the offshore rocks. If you ever want to feel one with nature, you have to go to the beach in the winter (of course, some people might disagree and prefer to go hunting in the forest or something crazy like that).
I always take lots of pictures at the beach. Sunsets of course, but also fog, birds, clouds. The picture at the top is by far my favorite. It illustrates beautifully what kind of day it was, and just how few people were ready to brave the weather. (I purposely focused on the man and faded the background a bit.) I think I got wet on every single walk during that weekend, because it always started raining on me. :) Oh, sure, I cursed like a sailor, but mainly because I didn't want my camera to get wet.

I never get tired of the beach and the big, powerful ocean. So tomorrow we're going to the small town, where I spent my first weekend away in 2007. And I'm thinking I will have to plan another one of those trips soon. March sounds great. I'll count on it to be cold and wet... It'll make for some wonderful pictures.

Procrastinator of Procrastinators...

2011-01-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's me. I plan to write, then I write a little bit, then I quit. And I let it go for weeks and then for months... all the while I'm feeling guilty for procrastinating.
I have been told by people that I have a talent. When I get in the groove of writing fiction, things just flow. For goodness sake, I wrote a book, and still I am not done editing it. As a matter of fact, every time I get back to it I have to start over.

How does one stay motivated? How do you get into that place? I seem to have forgotten.

Do I need to tattoo a reminder on my forehead, so every time I look in the mirror I remember I have to write today?

Well, today is the day I'm feeling motivated, so today I will sit down and I will do productive things. Wish me luck. Or don't. :) Chuggaaa!!

Becoming a parent is easy (relatively)... being a parent... not so much

2011-01-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

It all starts with the decision of two people that you can do this together. You can take on the responsibility for another human being together. You are under the impression, that as long as you love each other and work as a team you'll do just fine at this parenting thing. The production phase is fun. :) Duh! Pregnancy is... uh... not so much fun. Or maybe it is, but for me it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the first little kicks announcing that I did in fact share my body with another being.

And then you're a parent. And after the happy hormones wear off and you have to get up 5 times a night to comfort your crying, pooping bundle of... joy... reality hits you like a brick in the face.

It doesn't get easier, people. As a matter of fact, it gets much, much harder. But you love your kids, and you would do anything for them. They're your precious princes and princesses, and they deserve only the very best in life. So you decide to homeschool. And that, my friends, is where the trouble begins. Because now you have entered a whole new world with a whole new set of problems. First you know nothing about homeschooling, and you're overwhelmed and scared, and you ask, as anybody else the dreaded socialization question.

Then comes the all important question, what kind of homeschooler will you be? Of course all homeschoolers are very outspoken and passionate about THEIR way of homeschooling. You learn about eclectic, classical, Waldorf, and unschooling. And you stumble through them all, together with your children. You confuse them to no end, and they take it in stride... more or less.

But sometimes they don't, and they start acting funny, and now you're confused. As a parent you are never done. When you homeschool, you are always there, starting first thing in the morning, and you won't get a break until bedtime. And of course bedtime is right around your own bedtime, so you fall into your own bed at the end of the day, exhausted and drained.

I have two children living in my house. And lately things have not been going so well. There has been a lot of sarcasm and bitterness. Much bickering and fussing over nothing. I have no idea where this came from, but it wears me out.

I'm in a parenting class. Each term we read a parenting book and we try to analyze and figure out how our children tick. You'd think that after four books I'd be a professional. Shouldn't I be able to know exactly why my kids do certain things and how to handle them? Well, I don't. As a matter of fact, it seems that the more reading I do, the more I learn about parenting, the less I really understand my children. I found myself wrapping them in bubble wrap, treating them like they were the king and queen of the world. I think they truly believe that. And I think it's unhealthy, and it backfired big time.
The constant questioning of how this and that might make them feel did just one thing. It left me behind. I'm so worried about them, that I forgot to be myself, and to sometimes put myself first.

Being a parent doesn't mean that your children always, always have to come first. You are not a bad parent if you choose to come first every now and then.
When my son displayed signs of screen addiction I had to pull the emergency break. Something had to change. And that something wasn't something at all... it was someone! Me!

I have to relearn to follow my gut. I generally do well, when I follow my gut. Parenting should be no different. If I follow my gut, I know I will somehow do things better. I will be a better parent and a happier woman. No excuses necessary.

And that's where it gets difficult. I have wonderful friends, and I value them and love them. But I also feel like I'm being watched with eagle eyes. How does she handle that situation? They may not think much of it at all. Maybe that's just me and my own insecurities. Either way I have to stop worrying so much about what they may think of how I parent my children. Because in the end I have to decide, and I have to live with my children every day.

Happy Day, everyone. Enjoy your kids!

Once upon a time...

2011-01-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

... I had a friend (let's call him Will). Will and I were BFFs. We were soulmates. We knew each other well, so well in fact, that one knew when the other had a problem or was sad... even over a long distance. Will was one of those amazing people you only meet once in a lifetime. Everything was just so very right. He accompanied me through my ups and downs, my joys and sorrows... and had we competed in who is the bigger cry baby, I think he might have won.

Will knew what I liked to drink and ordered for me without having to ask. He knew what music I liked, and which politician I gave my vote. He asked me for my opinion in big and little issues. And he asked for my advice and followed it too. :)

Will didn't think that my girl problems were silly, and he listened to me rant about this and that and another thing. He shared my love for "my mountain" and for the seasons. His favorite season was fall. Nothing was complicated with him... he was always kind and generous and good.

And then Will had to leave. He left my life as gently as he had entered. It was January. I felt like someone had scooped a big chunk right out of my heart. I was suddenly lonely and sad and wanted nothing more than to get him back. And yet, that was the one thing I couldn't have.

I miss him. And always will.

Week One is done...

2011-01-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Boy, it's been a ride. By Day 4 the brain fog clouded my mind and I said things like, "I have to go and get my car from the phone," without noticing what I had just said. Only the laughter of my friends made me stop in my tracks... and well, then join in on the laughter when they told me what I had said. :)

The headaches disappeared two days ago, just as suddenly as they had started. Poof! Gone! And it's a good thing, because there is not much that I hate more than nagging headaches, and I learned online that sometimes they can last a couple of weeks.

During this week I did a lot of research, and learned that there are plenty of ways to live a paleo life. Who knew!! I guess it's like the low carb diets. There is always someone who knows better than the original guy, and so we have a variety of low carb diets to choose from. Well, it appears that Dr. Cordain who wrote the initial book on the Paleo Diet (as of now I shall write Lifestyle instead of Diet) is a lot more easy going with what he'll allow you to eat, but he's also buying into the "Thou' shalt not eat saturated fat" laws of modern society. That makes his approach less than ideal for me, because I happen to have learned that saturated fats are quite good for ya. Go ahead google it. There is no evidence at all that saturated fats have any adverse effects on your health.

Of course then there is Mark Sisson's Daily Apple website. He wrote the ebook "The Primal Blueprint". His version of going primal is also not ideal, because his ten "commandment" include things like, "Don't run marathons, instead move slowly, because that's what the paleolithic people did too." I disagree with Mr. Sisson. While they may not have run every day... they "came" equipped with an achilles tendon, the one that only running animals are born with, and a ginormous gluteus maximus. They weren't as smart as homo erectus, and so did not have the kind of tools that homo erectus used to spear down mammoths, but they could run like hell. They could outrun animals, who were of course much faster than them, but who didn't last as long. (Learned from the book "Born to run".) And so after hours of being chased, the animal gave up, and paleo man was the triumphant victor. Hoorah!!

Be that as it may, I will have to make a few adjustments to my way of going paleo. Before workouts I have to load up on carbs without eating pasta (although I'll probably still do that before my races), and right after my workouts I'll have to eat some protein.

It's been just a week, but already I'm feeling more energized, somewhat slimmer, and most of the time I don't experience any cravings. As a matter fact, yesterday was the first day I really wanted something sweet to snack on. And because I'm a connected girl, I posted about it on Facebook, and instantly got plenty of support and suggestions. I ended up making almond butter balls. (Mix almond butter with coconut flakes and chia seeds, et voila, you have a delicious snack. You can mix in some maple syrup or honey, but I chose not to do that, as I really am trying to stay away from sugar altogether for now.)

Well, off I go. Breakfast is calling. Have a lovely weekend.

Going Paleo

2011-01-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

Lately I have not been too thrilled about my eating habits. I would eat bread at least twice a day (it's just so convenient to quickly spread pb&j on it or make a sandwich). Of course, having grown up in Germany, bread is one of the most delicious, and, might I add major food groups. Even now, that I have been off bread for 4 days, even the word bread makes my mouth water. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Other things on my diet have been rice, pasta, oats (you name them, I have them), potatoes and more. And while this way of life worked just fine for me, when I was still a kid and running around in my village all day... recently I started feeling, well, somewhat out of shape, which is weird considering the many miles I run every week. I found myself dissatisfied, disillusioned, and I suffered from a loss of sleep among other bothersome symptoms. I'm 36 years old. I shouldn't feel that way, right?

I was introduced to the Paleo Diet briefly by my friend Shady Lady (forgive me for not posting the link. You all know her anyway.), who tried to live that lifestyle a while ago. As I listened to her talk about what was NOT allowed on this diet, I thought that maybe she had finally gone and lost her mind (okay, not really... but damn, no bread, no pasta??? The sacrifice was simply too much for me.)

And so I vegged on, accepting that I was just not deserving of a good night's sleep... and gave in to the fact that my waistline was an ever-expanding part of my body. After all, don't a lot of people have issues to keep their weight in check starting around my age? Perfect excuse, I thought. I quit all diets, and did affirmations. "You are beautiful and I love you just the way you are." was (and is) my daily mantra.

Only trouble is, the waistline was still expanding, and I was still feeling crappy, AND I started making more bad decisions when it came to eating whatever the heck I wanted. Sure, I was a runner, and for a while that was a good enough excuse to ward off any critical statements from my husband, who knew that sooner or later I would be unhappy about what I have become, but then something happened... and I'm so grateful for it.

My friend B, also a runner, and struggling with too much weight, turned into some kind of workout machine. She runs Sunday morning, plays soccer at night, goes to this Crossfit training (can you spell 200 sit ups, pull ups, push ups?), plays more soccer, runs even more during the week... Wow! What an amazing human being she is. I admired her, but didn't do a whole lot to change my own ways.

And then, last week, as I was browsing the self-help book section at the library (don't ask me how I even got there), painfully aware of my jeans rolling down under my little belly flap. I pulled out a low carb diet book and remembered that living the low carb life a few years ago (after Toothless Fairy's birth) really helped me lose a lot of weight. Of course back then I mostly did cardio workouts, and I'll admit it, I used Ephedra for a long period of time. Ah yes, the sins of my "youth".

I decided to give this low carb "thing" a try, and shall I say, I felt unbelievably miserable by Day 2. How can anyone survive on bacon and lettuce?? Sunday I went for an 8 mile run with my friend B, I told her about my miserable existence, and she said, "I'm on Day 8 of the Paleo Diet, my cravings are gone, and I feel great." Uhm... yeah? Do tell, dear friend. (Sorry Shady Lady, I should have listened to you, way back when...) And so B told me all about how everything has changed for her, how she feels great (how she's lost 5lbs! in a week), and how she thinks this is the way to live.

Alright, fine... I must know more about this Paleo Diet now. When I got home, I didn't waste any time. I googled and found what I was looking for. The Paleo Diet is based on the paleolithic time, when our very distant ancestors hunted and gathered.

This time, with a new attitude, I did not look at what was NOT allowed on the diet. Instead I focused on all the things that I actually AM allowed to eat. Lean meats, fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries etc... Nothing like my Dr. A. low-carb book. Of course it still means no grains, no pasta, no refined sugars, no starchy vegetables, no dairy (which is just fine by me, because I realized recently that milk products gave me stomach aches). Of course I will admit, that I dearly miss bread. I love bread!! But the fact is, that even less than a week into this new lifestyle, I feel so much better. I have not made any bad decisions. I am not reaching for the chocolate in the late afternoon, because my stomach is still satisfied and happy from my spinach salad lunch with chicken and avocados (YUM!).

I should add that I'm not doing this to simply lose weight and then go back to my old habits. I know this would backfire terribly and leave me frustrated and sad and feeling like a failure. No, I'm doing this because I want to help my body get into shape (this doesn't have to include weight loss, even though it will be a welcome side effect!). I'm doing this, because, as I age things will not get any easier, and I would like to be healthy now, so I can stay healthy later. I want to be that 92 year old woman who runs marathons (I still can't get over her!!).

Will I never ever eat another piece of cake... or a bowl of delicious pasta... or a slice of bread with peanut butter and jam? Well, duh! Of course I will. Someday, when I don't have to worry that this will turn into a bad habit again. For now I'm doing just fine with my caveman diet. And I will keep posting on this blog about the changes that will be happening soon. :)

Is it really 2011?

2011-01-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

I swear, I have no idea how this happened yet again. Another year passed me by, and I didn't even realize it until, oh, Decmeber 31st!! If I keep living like this, before I know it I'll be old and wrinkly, looking back on my life, and wondering what the hell happened.

Of course as I'm looking back, I can tell you exactly what happened. Life. All of it... homeschooling, mothering, running, a little bit of writing, and not enough de-cluttering. Same old, same old. By September I flushed my resolutions down the drain, and came to the ever intelligent conclusion that it quite simply didn't matter, what my resolutions were. I don't have time for them. I don't want them. They have the tendency to make me look and feel like a failure. And I know I'm not. I'm a busy woman with a somewhat cluttered life. So bring on 2011. I'm ready. No resolutions whatsoever.

Well, almost. I do want to run the Portland Marathon this year, after reading that a 92 year old woman in Hawaii finished one. No more excuses for me now. If this woman can do, then I can do it too. Thank you, Ma'am. I hope you live for a very long time and finish many more marathons.

My other goal... and this is not a resolution for 2011 but more of a life goal: love myself, like myself, appreciate myself just the way I am. No changes needed. Just growth, because we all do want to keep growing, right?

Everything else will fall into place. Happy New Year, everyone.

Playtime...

2010-12-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

My best friend, Shady Lady, and I had a play date today. Well, the kids had a play date, and she and I had a knitting date. I love these afternoons, as we really get a chance to talk... not just chit chat. We have actual meaningful conversations. I tell her things I don't tell anyone else (well, maybe my other best friend), and I know I will always be heard and understood.

We have known each other for 3 years now. During this time both of us grew immensely... often into opposite directions... and in some ways into the same direction. We often have to agree to disagree on certain subjects. And for the first time in my life I don't mind. I don't feel the need to convert her (not that that would work!!), I don't need to convince of how right I am. The simple fact is that it does not matter at all... because when it comes down to it... we do agree about the most important things in life. We just approach them differently. We love and respect each other for who we are, and we talk when we feel that something is wrong.

Today, during our play date we heard the children argue downstairs. Each in their own way. And it occurred to me that our children are learning already, at a very young age, to get past their differences. They may not agree about everything, but they will find a way to make it work. We never did have to get involved. They figured it out all by themselves. And this made me proud and happy, and relieved... knowing that in 20 years they will still be friends, good friends, who embrace each other's differences and will be richer and more open minded for having learned to live with them from a very early age.

We do love you guys, Shady Lady and Princess...

And suddenly the world is perfect...

2010-11-29T12:18:00.000-08:00

... or at least this small part of my world, where an unpleasant relationship between my eldest who lives in Germany and her dad, led to us searching frantically for flights to the US. And wonderfully, we were successful and she will fly here on the 25th of December to stay for two weeks.

Time for us to help build her up a bit, to offer love and support, to let her know that things will get better, and that with a little patience she will make it through this situation.

I don't need much else for Christmas. It's the perfect present.

Random Ramblings

2010-11-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

1. The year is almost over, and I'm trying to figure out what I've got to show for it. Sadly, not all that much in the writing business, not because of the lack of opportunity, but more of a lack of motivation. Well, it's back now, and I have good plans for 2011. :)

2. I think I may have posted a while ago that I wanted to lose weight. 15 pounds please. I didn't.

3. I tried to be a better mom... We shall see in about 10-15 years if I'm successful at this.

4. As always around this time of the year I miss home. My daughter is too far away, my niece is growing up without me, I miss my parents... and I'm a little frustrated about where we're headed in this country. Of course I'd be frustrated in Germany too. It's just easier to get frustrated at America right before Christmas. ;)

5. We fly to Phoenix on the 16th... I will meet friends whom I haven't met in the 4.5 years since we left. I will meet friends whom I've never met (just online). And I will roam the streets that I called home for 6.5 years. It's always interesting to go back.

6. I have a decision to make about whether or not I want to run for re-election as a board member for an organization next summer. I don't know that I'm ready to make this decision, but it's no use... in three days I have to say Yay or Nay.

7. I've been teaching a Science class for 5 to 7 year olds. A couple of days ago I got a teacher evaluation (anonymously of course), and was disappointed that for teacher preparedness I only got 3 out of 5 possible points. I thought it went extremely well. I actually enjoyed the class a lot (even though I was kind of pushed into teaching it, because the other teacher bailed out)... and I'm bitter. I didn't think I would let this get to me so much.

8. I have one big, messy house. I'm afraid to say that none of us for have learned to clean up after ourselves. There is clutter everywhere, and it's driving me crazy. Any advice on how to get better about keeping a clean house would be much appreciated. :)

9. Facebook is evil! It has taken away from my blogging time. It has taken away from a lot of other times as well. Every now and then I want to just delete my account. And then I can't... because... well... I can't. :)

10. 'Tis the Season. AGAIN!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Time to review Time4Learning

2010-11-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

Our month is up, and it is time for me to review Time4Learning.

First I should say, that both my children enjoyed the curriculum. Sitting down to work has become easier, because in each subject you learn by watching comic figures in real life situations... and they were kept age appropriate.

Each session is kept short, and the subjects are explained well, plus, as the parent you can print out accompanying Learning Extensions. Those are worksheets you can use while doing your online work. It is easy to find your way around the website. The children needed a little help the first time they sat down to work, but after that they logged in all by themselves and did their work independently. (BIG PLUS!)

At the end of each session you get to do a quick test of 5 questions. This is where both my children got frustrated. Instead of getting short answers such as "You are correct", each answer was a repetition of the questions. So it would say something like. "C is correct. 5/8 of the cake are covered in sprinkles." (I'm making up the answer, because I can't think of one.) You cannot skip the long answers, and to my kids this was "annoying", as they put it.

What I appreciated about the program, was that you could choose between grades. For instance, if you sign your child up as a third grader you also get the 2nd and 4th grade material to work with. Unfortunately Social Studies for 1st and 2nd grade was so short, that my son finished them in less than two weeks. He really enjoyed this subject a lot and was disappointed, when he was done. Of course you always do have the option of telling Time4Learning to move your child up one grade, which, should we decide to stick with the program, we will do for sure.

Just one thing truly frustrated me. The program does not work on the latest version of Firefox. I called Time4Learning, and while the lady on the phone was very friendly (thank you), all she could say was to downgrade our Firefox, until they update their service. This is of course not an option, as the previous Firefox has pretty severe security glitches, and we will absolutely not downgrade. So we ended up having to use just one of five computers in the house. That of course meant, the children could never work at the same time. I do hope this will be fixed soon, so we can also work on the road, when all we have are laptops with the latest Firefox version.

When it comes down to it, Time4Learning is definitely a satisfying curriculum, but I will not use it solely for our homeschool year. Some subjects we'd like to cover in more detail, and so Time4Learning is a great basis. My daughter, for instance, enjoyed reading about the Vikings, but she wanted to know much more. She finished the Vikings in no time and then asked me to go to the library to pick up more books about them.

I would most definitely recommend Time4Learning to anyone, even if you don't homeschool. The lessons are presented in bite sized pieces, so sometimes 10 minutes on the computer are all it takes. And chances are, that your child doesn't want to quit after 10 minutes. My children have walked up to me with random historical facts or math problems they conquered online. You can't not love that.

Time4Learning Day 2

2010-10-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

We started working with the curriculum, and after getting used to the format the children quite enjoy using the curriculum. As a matter of fact Toothless Fairy likes the Science curriculum so much that she is working even longer than I had asked her to. She is currently sitting at the computer and reading about pollution and answering the questions.

Each session is followed by a short quiz. What a great way to prepare both of the kids for the standardized testing.

Blue Eyed Boy is not quite as excited about the curriculum yet, although he does enjoy the lessons. He is not the happy learner that his sister is, but he is also not complaining about it.

I have yet to sign in to the Parent Section.

The only complaint I've had so far are the longer loading times mid-morning, and my children are not excited about the long explanations after every correct answer in a quiz. They'd really prefer to get a quick: Correct! and then move on.

Oh well, will listen to the girl now reading to me about sulfur dioxide.

It's Time4Learning!!

2010-10-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

I've been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as an online homeschooling curriculum, a web based afterschool tutorial or an online summer program. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.

If this isn't exciting, then I don't know what is. I'm looking forward to working with my kids on this and to write about my experiences. :)

The perfect day

2010-10-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Today may just have been the perfect homeschool day. In the past few months I've had the chance to listen to unschoolers rave about their experiences, and I felt I had to somehow be like them... be an unschooler to get it right.
Well, truth is, nobody in my family does well with the unschooling lifestyle. Not the children, not myself, and certainly not my husband, who likes to really "see" some progress... something he can see and touch, if you will.

And so I decided to give up on the unschooling lifestyle and add more structure to our lives again. This does mean that we do focused "work" on days when we don't go to Village Home for the classes my children take. I was a little nervous about making this change, as my children enjoyed a long summer off with lots of play time, and I didn't know how they would react to this kind of change. Well, I needn't have worried. All is well... more than well as a matter of fact.

This morning I let each child choose which subject they wanted to start their day off with. Toothless Fairy chose to write, then paint. Blue Eyed Boy insisted on finishing the book he started reading a couple of days ago. After they were done I read the second chapter of the book "The Number Devil". And because neither of the children truly understood what they were talking about in the book, I used some notecards to write on, and we learned how to write Roman numerals, discussed the fact that they had no zeros, and therefore had to write their "numbers" in a rather complicated way. They loved putting out their birth years in Roman numerals, but were really impressed just how many letters were needed for my birth year.

Finally we wrote multiplication flash cards with "twos". Both kids were surprised to find out, that they knew much more than expected... 2x3 and 3x2, 2x4 and 4x2, 2x5 and 5x2 etc. By the end of our flash card game Toothless Fairy had the multiplication facts down, and Blue Eyed Boy was still working on it. Both had a blast, and we'll do more next week.

Portland weather has been "good to us". Lots of sunshine, and it's just now starting to cool down and feel a little chilly. It still was warm enough to go for a walk at the nature park and observe the wildlife... snakes, squirrels, caterpillars, birds... After our nature walk we had hot drinks and pastries at the very yummy coffee shop, where we could actually sit outside, because they wind died down long enough to make it comfortably warm.

After a day like this I don't mind the children watching TV... and they've been watching for 3 hours straight... BUT all of the shows are mommy approved. So it's all good.

My wine tastes delicious... and yes, I must say, this just may have been the perfect day, all around.

And she's back...

2010-08-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

After recovering, and finishing up the school year, and a trip to the beach, and a trip to Germany I think I'm back. Not that I'm less busy or anything, but I do miss my bloggy community, and I'm hoping to get back in the groove.

My brother is now married. He was such a handsome groom, and the bride was absolutely lovely, and the wedding was beautiful and fun. I'm so glad I went, even though it burned quite the hole into our pockets.

Toothless Fairy had surgery and will soon have a full mouth of teeth.

Blue Eyed Boy is growing like a weed and now only a couple of inches shorter than his big sister.

And me, well, same old, same old... the end of summer is quickly approaching. I'm pickling and canning and preserving. And I'm getting ready for the new school year at Village Home, where I'll be teaching two classes.

And finally I'm proofreading my book.

And that's that. Have a wonderful day.

Sinus Infection: check!

2010-04-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

After running a half marathon or full marathon you must rest. Don't run for the first week after the race, then take it easy. Work your way up.

I wish I had known this BEFORE I went out and wore myself out. I might have avoided that evil cold sore and now that evil sinus infection. No running for me tomorrow. Instead I'm sitting here with a headache, a stuffy nose, hoping for quick recovery.

Another lesson learned I suppose...

Let's talk about sex, baby...

2010-04-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

So I read a blog post this morning from a mom who has received a letter from her school, informing her, that soon her daughter's 4th grade class will have sex education. She seemed a little freaked out over it, and asked her readers for comments.

First I skipped the comments altogether, and wrote about my experience with Toothless Fairy, who wanted to know all about sex about a year ago. She had heard about it, she wanted to know, what happens, how it happens, and she wanted answers now. I gladly obliged. She and I drove to the library, checked out some books, and at home we sat down and talked about it. Very easy and pain free. She giggled a little, but generally just listened carefully. End of story.

Then I decided to read the comments on the other blog post after all and was astonished to see just how many moms were not only a little concerned, but found the topic of sex education so scary, that one wrote she was in tears and called her mom.

I was puzzled after reading all the "Oh my god, this is totally freaking me out" comments. I'm not sure why sex education is such a huge issue. If treated like any other subject, the child will learn where she came from, that billions of humans do it, and have done it since the beginning of time, and that they will have to do it someday if they want to procreate. My guess is that no 8 year old or 10 year old will run out, grab the next best boy or girl and try it. Sex education is like knowing math, absolutely vital.

Children are not dumb. They understand risks. I certainly knew what I was doing when I had my first time with my boyfriend at the tender age of 16. Yes, we used condoms, and I quickly got on the pill. This may seem preposterous for some, but it beats the heck out of teen pregnancy. ;-)

Treating sex like it is something dirty, unnatural, and something that has to be kept a secret, will result in children who will go out and explore without telling their parents, and without the proper precautions. Of course they will. Heck, MTV is doing an entire series on "16 and pregnant". You've seen them do all kinds of silly things as little kids, when you told them, they were not supposed to open that drawer, or they were not allowed to do this or that. Curiosity is powerful.

And to the lovely mommy who wrote the blog post, I hope you don't mind that I made this a subject on here. I purposely did not mention your name or blog. :) All will be well... and yes, I do recommend that you be the one to educate your daughter beforehand.

When you have a heavy heart...

2010-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

let music speak for you.

The Story

Volcanoes, and gardens and things

2010-04-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been quite a week. By now you've all heard it, a volcano on Iceland with a name way too long to even try to write or pronounce, has erupted for the second time in a month this week. Flights in most northern European countries are canceled, including Denmark, Great Britain, Northern France, Germany etc. And it makes you wonder really, why it happened just now. My parents flew to London this week to start their trip to the Philippines, where they will be spending the first six months of their retirement.
Needless to say, my parents are stuck in London, in a hotel in Heathrow, and while the airport keeps pushing their no fly times out by just a few hours each time, the message is clear to everyone. This could last a while. The upper level winds are not going to change until Thursday of next week. So chances are my parents will spend some more quality in Great Britain. Granted of course, Britain is not the worst place to get stuck. I'm assuming they're doing some sightseeing... or well, I hope they do. My mom called yesterday and left a message, telling she wanted to share her "sorrow" with a third person. ;-)

Yes, some people are much worse off... those for instance who had to be evacuated on Iceland because of the risk of flooding. Yes, flooding! This is a glacier volcano. The melted ice will likely flood an area that is usually home to at least 1500 people. Sadly, nobody reports about these people, because everyone is really only worried about the billions of dollars the airlines are going to lose because of this incident. It's the worst incident since 9/11, and dare I say, it's worse than then, because air traffic was shut down for only a few days then, whereas now they have absolutely no idea how long this might last. Fortunately of course nobody was killed. Definitely something to be grateful for.

Well, flights have become consistently more expensive recently, and one can only imagine what this incident will do to prices and to airlines. How many will announce their bankruptcy after this is over? We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.

In the meantime life in these parts has been pleasant, as we've enjoyed some lovely spring weather in Oregon. Sunny skies and warm temperatures brought out the best in me and I spent hours weeding and planting vegetables, excited about eating the produce out of my own garden all summer long. Both kids have requested a spot of their own in the garden. Wish granted. Blue Eyed Boy will grow zucchini, and Toothless Fairy will grow herbs and pansies. May they appreciate the results of their gardening efforts. :)

We have even eaten our dinners outside, because it was so beautiful. I love Oregon, and am so grateful to be living here. There is just one thing missing right now. Ogre is in Phoenix for work and will now spend the weekend with his family there. We all really miss him. Life is not quite the same without him here. I miss finding him sitting near the fireplace early in the morning, reading his Week magazine. Heck, I'd even gladly hand over the remote again. :) It's not that I have not appreciated him before, but absence most certainly does make the heart grow fonder. I want him back, and I can't wait for Monday.

Have a nice weekend, everyone.

So I ran a half marathon...

2010-04-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

And I would be jumping up and down and doing a happy dance.... but there is that, uhm, post race pain in my legs. It was awesome. The very first race I ever ran, and I made it in 2hours 37minutes (the clock says 2:42. That just means that I crossed the start line 5 minutes after the first people). Not a fast runner but a steady one.

My overall ranking of all women was 1071. (LOL)
In the group of Athenas (women over 150lbs) I rated in 31st.

I love my friends, and I'm so grateful for their support and friendship. And yes, I'm doing this again!!

So I'm old-fashioned...

2010-04-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

This comes as a complete surprise to me. When I was 17 and people would ask me, what I was going to do with my life after school, I'd tell them I'd be a career woman. No really, I said it just like that. I said I'd make a great career, I'd live in a really cool condo, drive a fancy car and never get married. Leave the family and kid thing to someone else. I knew I was going to contribute to society by working my ass off and going on awesome vacations in the Caribbean.

Of course I held a positive pregnancy test in my hands at the tender age of 19. What was I to do? I had been on the pill and taken it regularly. But does a 19 year old really read the "fine print" on the instructions, stating that if you get sick and have to throw up, the pill just might not work for ya? Nope, I had no clue. All I knew was, that there were two lines instead of one... and that there was absolutely no way that I would have an abortion. Not because I'm against abortions, but because I just couldn't kill that little thing inside me that apparently must have really wanted to be my child.

It is almost 16 years later. My daughter will be 16 this summer. My two little ones are 9 and 7. (Happy Birthday, Blue Eyed Boy!) I am a stay at home mom, and I homeschool my children. I'm a freelance writer, but unless I start working really hard soon, I won't ever make a living with it. For the rest of my life I will likely depend on my husband to keep a roof over my head, to feed me, to clothe me. I guess one can only hope that we never fall out of love. ;-) Of course we just had our 10 year anniversary two days ago, and agreed that we'll definitely grow old together.

A couple of days someone posted on Facebook, asking if a certain amount of money was a good price for infant daycare. Lots of people responded with their opinions about what was reasonable for infant daycare. And all I could think was, what ever happened to the baby staying home with Mom? What about that very special bond between a mom and her baby, the breastfeeding, this making sure that your baby learns to trust you as a parent, rather than to have to grow up with someone during the day, and be back with you at night? This guy and his wife are young and ambitious, and I couldn't help wondering how they planned having a child. Does it fit in with our plans? Is it the next logical consequence after we date, get engaged, get married, pursue our careers? And can we make sure not to change our lives around too much for this new little human?

At the risk of sounding judgmental, why have a child, when you're unwilling to change your life for it? This is when I realized it. This is when I understood, that I must be hopelessly old-fashioned. I do think that it's the mother's job to stay home with the child. Why? Because nature gave us a womb and boobs.
I am not anti-career for women. To each their own. But the unwillingness to take even a short break for this new human being, blows me away. Part of me wants to say, "Let me take care of your child. I will be a wonderful surrogate mommy." Of course that would really mess with our lives, and I would no longer be able to give my own children the kind of attention they deserve.

So, in the end all I can do, is to give all that I have to give, knowing that someday I will be able to to look back and say I have done my best to raise these children to be the best big people they can be.

(And now, before anyone raises their torches and pitch forks, I am aware of circumstances that don't allow a mother to stay home with a child. I know that many women want to go back to work, partly because they just are not cut out to be a mom and housewife, partly because the business world will turn without them and they will struggle to catch up with the rest if they take even a one year break. Things are more complicated for women who choose to have both a family and a career. This is simply my own statement, a realization that I am indeed an old-fashioned happy stay at home mom, and that I would not have it any other way.)

Siblings...

2010-03-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a car, trying to focus on traffic is most annoying, when in the backseat two thickheaded children fuss and fight over something you had already told them wouldn't happen, so there really is no reason for them to fight over it. And yet, there they were, verbally abusing each other and unwilling to give it a rest. I took a few deep breaths and turned up the music. Much as I would have liked to break up the fight and restore peace and order in the universe, I have learned from experience that there is nothing quite as important and valuable as the bickering between siblings. They learn that another equal member of the family has a different opinion, and will voice them no matter what, and the argument will not find and end until it is broken up by the parents or until they use some creativity and compromise to solve the problem themselves.

I grew up with a younger brother who annoyed the crap out of me at times. He had to be wherever I was. He had to have the TV when I was watching. He quickly grew so tall that our physical fights ended up with both of us bruised and exhausted. We fought like Tom and Jerry, then made up like Tom and Jerry (every now and then).
But we also kept each other company, when no other kids were around. We took each other's sides when one of us got in trouble. We played the silliest games with each other for hours and hours.

By the time we were adults we had learned to appreciate each other, to enjoy the other person's company, and nobody can make me laugh quite as my brother does. This summer he's getting married. He has a beautiful little baby girl. He lives in a nice house in a child friendly neighborhood, and I am overwhelmed with happiness and love when I think of him. His happiness means everything to me. And even though he is over 6,000 miles away, this bond will last forever. Of that I am certain.

I used to know a family, whose daughters were not allowed to fight. The parents always got involved. Their arguments were always broken up by an adult who made the decision for them. Each of the girls felt like the other one was always getting the better half of the deal. As adults they don't speak to each other at all. They cannot get over their differences. They are still angry at each other and at their parents.

And so, while their bickering annoys me beyond belief, and I want to scream at them and tell them to shut up and get the hell over themselves, I will usually try to let them figure things out for themselves. Somewhere along the way I hope they will recognize just how important they are to each other, and that never again will there be another person like their sibling. :) (The picture is not new, but so darn cute!)

Rambling on...

2010-03-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

1. Ladies and gentlemen, the flights to Germany are booked. This summer I'll be dancing at my brother's wedding. (Dancing at someone's wedding is a German saying.) Exciting news!

2. Spring has a tight grip on Portland. It's raining, cats and dogs, and some water too.

3. If I close my eyes, will all the terrible news I read every day just go away?

4. About a week ago I swore to myself that I'm never going to knit another sock. Then I went through my stash of yarn and realized I can't stop. The yarn is too pretty.

5. Neighbor J. and his religious fanatic views are crawling under my skin, and slowly destroying the last bit of respect I have had for the man. And the next time he unloads his crap on my children, I may have to give him a piece of my mind, and ask him to f-ing stay away from my children.

6. I love my work with Foundation Beyond Belief. Non-theists from all over the country are excited about the prospect of starting groups of like-minded people. It is such a rewarding experience to be part of this movement.

7. Nutella on toasted English muffins... there simply is not a better food out there, no matter what you might say. This is heaven right there. Lucky me.

8. Audiobooks rock.

9. Buying a new house is going on the backburner in this family. We are taking a break. What a liberating decision. I can move on with my life. Yippeee!!

10. Organizing a fundraiser that nobody signs up for sucks.

11. Blue Eyed Boy has his seventh birthday coming up. It occurred to me last night in bed, that I should start making plans, as his actual birthday is only a little over a week away.

12. My Ogre and I will be married 10 years on the same date as my son turns 7. And we may actually go on a honeymoon. I think after 10 years of marriage we actually deserve one.

13. Toothless Fairy says her brain is so full of fairy stories she thinks she's going to explode. It appears to me the child needs to be a writer.

Happy Tuesday!

Individuality

2010-03-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Alicia from Magic and Mayhem got me thinking about individuality, when she posted about her Reason #3 she is glad to be homeschooling.
I must say, in our homeschooling community we have our fair share of children who live out their individuality, and I never tire of checking out what new fashion arrangements they come up with.

There is the girl who wears this pettycoat, bright red and wild looking above her jeans. She wears a hooded sweater with it, and a mohawk hat her grandma knit for her. Nobody comments on it, nobody gives her funny looks, and certainly nobody tells her that she doesn't look good enough because she doesn't wear the right kind of shoes or clothes, or the right brand of whatever. She is a vital part of our community, and everyone likes her just the way she is.

My own daughter discovered her own unique taste as well, and every now and then she will throw together a combination that has me smiling, but that helps this little girl be her very own person who wears what she wants and feels confident about it. Years ago her aunt gave her a box full of dress up clothes. One hat, plastic and colorful has survived, and she no longer uses it for dress up. She proudly wears it slightly sideways, wraps a scarf around her skinny neck, and a teeny tiny skirt over a pair of leggings. She tops it off with a pair of black boots with a small heel.

My little Blue Eyed Boy couldn't care less about such things. He is the kid who will wear t-shirts year-round, because apparently he's too hot in sweaters. And if the t-shirt has anything Star Wars printed on the front, it's a winner. Easy.

I remember a time way back when... I wore jeans, that were slightly rolled up so you could see the tops of my converse. With the jeans I wore a white blouse and neon yellow suspenders with smiley faces. I did get lots of bad remarks from my classmates. I just wasn't all that cool. But well, I was not one to care. I never really did care what others thought of me... until of course I met a boy I liked and felt I had to look especially nice. Bye bye suspenders... bring out the heels. :)

Some of the adults in our community have a very unique taste in clothes, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I was one of them. I enjoy their creativity. But it appears I have become quite normal over the years. Nothing wrong with that either. :)

Who knew I could be a runner?

2010-03-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

My entire life I have never been much of an athlete. At age 6 I joined a ballet school and lasted an entire 6 weeks. Granted though, there was a bully who wouldn't leave me alone, because I had short hair and looked like a little boy.
Then I went to gymnastic, and actually made it for about a year, before I decided that gymnastics just wasn't for me.

At age 12 my parents decided I should be a swimmer, and so I joined a swimming club and swam for a good three years... and then... well, I was a teenager and had better things to do. After all, there were boys, and school, and boys. Who had time for exercise?

After that I never found another thing to feel passionate about. And so my gym membership was put to good use. A little swimming, a little weight lifting, a little crosstraining...

And then along came this group of people who got me to go running with them every Saturday morning. And in the beginning I thought there was no way I could run two miles. And then they said we're training for a half marathon in April, and I signed up for it. We started training in November. It gave me plenty of time to work my way up to this, and yesterday for the first time in my life I went out to run 11 miles. No, I didn't run all the way. I took a few walking breaks... but I tried to keep them short, and I pushed myself harder than ever before.

As I'm entering a phase in my life where my face looks a little squished in the morning, and the strands of silver in my hair are more and more visible, I am about to do something that is more physically challenging than anything I've ever done before. I'm proud of that. I look forward to the race, which for the time being is not about time, about running all the way, but simply about finishing. I shall keep you posted.

Why do you blog?

2010-03-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

Someone recently asked this question on Facebook. "Why do you blog? What's the attraction? Is what you have to say really that interesting?" Ouch to the last one. :) And yet it is a valid question, isn't it? I mean, what makes anyone think that anyone else would want to read what they write about? Still, the internet is full of us bloggers. Mommy bloggers, daddy bloggers, political bloggers, kid bloggers, religious bloggers, homeschool bloggers... and we all have things to say, and somehow we all manage to add new followers to our list.

So that leaves the question, why! I started out with a German blog. No special reason. Others did it, and I wanted to see what it was all about. Apparently I had good things to say, because I quickly went from 0 comments to 15 comments on every single blog post. How cool. People wanted to read about my spider phobia, about my homeschooling life, my children, my plans for the future. Oh, and yes, I loved the fame. :) No seriously, is there really anybody out there in the blogsphere who does not (even secretly) check their followers and make a little (if secret) happy dance when they realize a new follower?

Of course then I thought, "well, if people like reading me, maybe I can make some cash with it too". So I made a half-ass attempt at making a few bucks on the side by adding an Amazon advertisement thingy on the sidebar. I made a quarter!! How exciting! As you can tell from the sidebar, the Amazon link is gone. I don't do well as Amazon Associate. ;-)

In the meantime I decided that I really don't want to make any money blogging, because I do this for fun. Yes, I still enjoy the followers, and after each post I wait impatiently for comments. I love the comments, and it feels like I know my readers, because I read them as well. It is a bit of an online community. It's whole different world, and I'll enjoy it as long as it lasts. Thank you, bloggy friends, for coming back again and again and reading all the "important" things I share. :)

Reading

2010-03-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

I started reading books when I was around 10 years old, and someone gave me a stack of books with stories of twins in a boarding school. These books were full of adventure, mystery, friendship, and fun. And of course the 13 year old twins were oh so very cool, and I really wanted a twin. For a while I read horse stories. Then I found my dad's Stephen King books, and inhaled those. The first Stephen King book I read was Misery, followed by IT. I was a captured fan. (I can no longer read Stephen King today.)

I still enjoy reading fiction, although I have mostly been reading such books as "Learning all the time" or "Stumbling on happiness" or "Raising your spirited child". I love historical novels, but haven't read one in about a year. And I miss it. Anybody want to recommend a good historical novel?

I always hoped that my children would be readers. I can happily say that they both are. It is still amazing though, how they both arrived at reading so very differently. Toothless Fairy and I sat down together every single day and learned to read with Hooked on Phonics. She was quite the talented little reader, and within six months she made it through all 5 Hooked on Phonics boxes. I ordered HOP Master Reader, which starts of with a computer lesson, and is followed by a story. After the red "chapter" you read a book. Toothless Fairy loves to read. She has been reading Harry Potter and Emily Windsnap and of course a bunch of those Rainbow Fairy books. She still likes those.

Blue Eyed Boy was not having any of that phonics stuff his sister learned with. It was a long process before he understood that letters make a certain sound, and that you could chain them together. So we quit that and left him alone for a while. Then my friend HerbiFaery recommended BOB Books to me. Blue Eyed Boy was initially excited about those stories. He read one story after another. It still went slow, but he read. I finally brought out the Hooked on Phonics boxes again. Blue Eyed Boy liked the books, and read through all of them in 5 days. He was not interested at all in any formal instruction. He just wanted to read the books.
His reading really took off though, when Ogre brought home a Star Wars beginning readers book. The boy read this story over and over again, and easily figured out unknown words as well. He will now check out a bunch of these beginning readers books at the library. He is at level 3 now, and thoroughly enjoys to read.

Wow! I find it rewarding to have two very different children, who both teach me just how they tick, and what is right for them. It's a challenge sometimes. But boy, how awesome is it to have the ability to adjust to their style completely. I love this homeschooling life, even during those icky times, when I'm convinced that school is the only way to go. I snap out of those times quickly, when I experience such moments of success. :)

When you have nothing to say... shut up and show some pictures of your beach trip

2010-03-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

House hunting the 4,379th...

2010-03-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

I hate house hunting. House hunting is terrible, awful, grueling work, and as we rule out one property after another, it actually gets worse. Seriously... after a while you lose track of which house you've seen, which you haven't, and which you ruled out and why you ruled it out. You look at thousands of pictures, and they all just melt together into one big house blob. And you have no idea which house it was that had that really nice kitchen you fell in love with.

Every now and then a house listing comes along that has you jump up and down with excitement. You are sure this is the one. You HAVE to see this house. You make an appointment with the REALTOR, and she agrees to meet you the very next day first thing in the morning to show you your new palace. You arrive, you walk in the house, and you smell dog... and you smell cat... and two of the rooms are filled to the brim with the previous owner's crap. He's left in a rush, and he hasn't cleaned the place in what seems like years. There is a sippy cup with old milk sitting in the middle of the master bedroom.

Suddenly it occurs to you that the listing only showed the kitchen and the living room and the beautiful yard. Every other room in your dream home is trashed. Let's not even get started on the bathrooms, because those are simply beyond repair.

Maybe I'm just too impatient. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I need to snap out of it, relax a bit and give it some time, because the right place will come along eventually. This doesn't change the fact though, that I HATE house hunting.

Always question authority

2010-02-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

Last night we held another secular parenting discussion group at our house. We use Dale McGowan's Parenting Beyond Belief, an excellent read for parents who strive to raise their children without the influence and indoctrination of religion.

One of the essayists in the book explained that he and his daughter had two rules in their family: 1) Always question authority. 2) When in doubt refer to rule #1.

Ogre was the first to admit how difficult it was to live by this rule, when he himself grew up in a household where Dad made the rules, and you obeyed the rules, or else... My own parents were a little more relaxed about the rules. They could be stretched and even challenged by us kids in some occasions. But if they were set, then my dad used threats to ensure we understood just how serious he was about the rule.

Not surprisingly I went out and drank and smoked and spent all my allowance on crap, because those were the strictest rules, and I was threatened that I would be thrown out of the house if I was ever caught with a cigarette. Needless to say I was never thrown out... because my parents never found out.

Ogre and I are both trying very hard to raise our children to think for themselves rather than to blindly follow whatever rules and restrictions we impose on them. Rules are never established without explanation, and "because I said so" is a phrase we try to avoid, even though we are both guilty of using it occasionally.

Ideally, by the time my children are teenagers, we can have ~~heated debates~~ conversations with our children, where both us as parents and they as children have a say, and where we reach conclusions and agreements that are acceptable (and lawful) for all. We work in this already, and most of the time the children are appreciative, and some of the time they will blow up, throw a tantrum and contemplate their terrible lives.

The fact is that children know instinctively (in most cases) what is reasonable. And if they don't, they will learn. It's a process, and we're here to help them, not to slow them down, not to limit them. I do hope that I can come out on the other side of child rearing and give myself a pat on the shoulder and say "Mission accomplished"... with bumps and bruises. :)

The stage awaits me...

2010-02-25T08:18:00.000-08:00

Toothless Fairy decided to perform in the talent show at Village Home this coming Saturday. This is our yearly fundraiser. We start with an auction kick-off event, and all the lovely homeschoolers (unsocialized and shy) will perform for an audience of approximately 200 people. There will be Shakespeare skids, dancing, singing and so much more. We have a band of talented young musicians who will rock the house.

But to get back to Toothless Fairy. She wants to sing in the show, and realized that she might like some support from.... me. Toothless Fairy is quite the little singer, and she prefers to sing harmony. And so she asked me if I would be willing to sing "You are my sunshine" with her. We started singing that song together when she was only two years old. How can I refuse to sing on stage with my little girl? So I agreed.

Our first rehearsal was last week. No microphones yet, but about 30 people in the audience listening intently. Toothless Fairy held me hand, leaned on me for a little support, and we sang. We were both nervous, but I reminded my girl, that this audience is here for our support, not to judge us. There is really nothing to worry about. Even if we did a sucky job, they would still applaud.

I know all of this to be true... and yet I can't help but swallow hard at the thought of the crowded room, staring up at Mom and Daughter, as they sing the song that has so much history in our family. This afternoon is another mandatory rehearsal, and this time we will sing with microphones. Maybe I'll sneak in some booze to calm those nerves? :-)

Wish me luck, people. :)

And also, check out our online auction items that you are welcome to bid on, if you feel so inclined. It's for a fantastic cause, if I say so myself.

Bidding for Village Home, the greatest homeschooling resource center ever.

I want that house!!

2010-02-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

House hunting is not exactly one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. Especially not when I forget my $800 camera in the UNLOCKED car, and have it stolen after a mere 10 minutes in the house. A bitter, nasty side effect of house hunting that I would gladly pass on.

But let's leave aside the minor detail of losing "my baby", and let's leave aside the fact that house hunting is no fun, when you walk into a house that is so filthy that you warn your children NOT to take off their shoes for fear of cockroaches crawling up on your feet. (Yes, we actually did see such a place. It was the place that had the lying pictures on the RMLS.)

After looking at only six houses (I realize some people look at dozens!) we found a candidate. It is large, sits on a large lot, with all wood floors downstairs, a lovely deck overlooking the whole neighborhood and the beautiful hills in the distance, and a jacuzzi. The house is empty, and it would need painting and new carpets upstairs. The house is also bank owned, and the bank is a bitch, who won't let us do a real inspection (to see if there is any structural damage), until the deal is closed. Smart bank, huh? One would think that they are just hoping to get rid of that place. But they are making it so difficult, that only a seriously interested buyer would go through all the trouble of purchasing it.

The thing is, I want that house. It feels right. It looks right. It's the perfect place for our family. I could live in that place for a very long time. So if it was up to me, I would go ahead and pick a fight with the bank. I can only assume, that they would be interested enough to actually sell the place, if they see, that someone really wants it. What do you think? Any experiences? It's not like there are tons of buyers running around just waiting to get their hands on this property.

Currently I'm waiting to hear from my REALTOR who is trying to get the bank to agree to let us dewinterize the house (which would make sense anyway. Winter is just about over... and when you look at the cherry blossoms in Portland you might think it's April). So send me all your good vibes, energies, thoughts and whatever it is you are willing to share... because I want that house!!

Unschooling...

2010-02-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of talk about unschooling in my community lately. Shady Lady posted about it. We discussed the subject at Village Home, and last night I got together with a friend who has finally found that unschooling is the way to go for her family. Our own homeschooling journey has of course led us down many paths. School at home, homeschool, unschool, and everything in between. We had to try things to find out if they were right for us.

And over and over again I came to the conclusion that the more unstructured we worked, the better my kids liked to learn. When I chose more structure again, it brought with it the frustration and defiance I remember from school. I mean which school kid wants to sit in school all day and then come home and do homework? Even those who claim they enjoyed school went through rough times when they found it difficult to study, because it was a forced studying. And when you actually do enjoy a subject you're not allowed to research it in depth, because you have 5 other subjects to cover as well... and only a limited amount of time for each.

Our homeschooling went through ups and downs and recently we hit rock bottom. I was ready to just sign them up for school. They had no desire to do anything with me. They hated to sit down and do the work. A little bit of this... a little bit of that. Never enough to get into something, never enough to actually find enjoyment in what they were doing. Because we had a schedule, and we were going to meet our goals.

Shady Lady's journey seemed similar to mine. She bought curriculum, borrowed hundreds of books from the library, and jumped in, thinking that somehow her unschooling approach wasn't quite right for them. Needless to say the enthusiasm about their more structured approach didn't last. Shady Lady and her daughter were just as frustrated as we were a couple of weeks ago. She found her way back to unschooling and truly believes that this child led learning is the way to life long learning.

As I'm doing my own soul searching, I find that I agree with her. I find that my children learn best when they are not forced to. To better understand what unschooling means, I will explain a little here. The term unschooling means you follow no set curriculum. You don't have any formal school lessons. You don't force knowledge on your children. Unschooling does not mean that your child will not learn anything. Because children are naturally curious about their surroundings. They learned to walk and talk at their own pace. They learned to use the bathroom when they were ready. In unschooling you trust your children that they learn everything else at their own pace as well.

Yes, you provide them with all the materials they will need when they find an interest in something. You will likely be known by your librarian by first name. You will have hundreds of library books in your house at any given time, and late fees will be second nature to you. ;-) You will take them on field trips to all kinds of interesting places, and chances are your children will find something about any given place that they like, and you will be more than happy to find more information for them. Unschooled children will often research a subject for weeks on end. Because they can! Because they want to! Because they love it!

Children are not naturally lazy. They are made lazy by a system that forces them to do a certain thing at a certain time, only saved by the bell, that dictates, when you are done and must be ready for a new thing only 5 minutes later. I strongly believe that. I have seen both sides. I hated school and would have been incredibly grateful to be homeschooled.

So I am going to choose this approach again for my children. I will provide them with everything they need and want to learn and grow. And I have good friends to thank for helping me return to this point. I think good times are ahead. :-)

Rambling on...

2010-02-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

1) Pictures lie. Sometimes pictures make ugly things pretty, and pretty things prettier. Looking for houses based on RMLS listings is difficult. You look at the pictures online and love it. You go to the house and it's a shack!

2) We have looked at three houses so far... Already I'm feeling a little worn out. I fell in love with a place yesterday. Went home, checked out the booklet they left for prospective buyers in their kitchen, and noticed there is no A/C in the house. In Germany that would be okay, because houses are built differently. Here... not a chance. :( Bye bye house. If the house was cheaper altogether, we might be willing to put in an A/C. But at the price they're asking it would be too expensive.

3) Toothless Fairy has discovered math. Math used to be the difficult subject. Yesterday was a big "aha" day, and so she took out her book at night after dinner to do math. This morning after breakfast she took it out again and worked for another 20 minutes.

4) Blue Eyed Boy would like to play the Wii all day long please. Ideally we would put a pipeline from the kitchen to the living room, so he can eat every now and then without having to interrupt the game. I tried to give him more freedom with the screen time, because it worked for Shady Lady and Princess. It totally backfired at me. Blue Eyed Boy will NOT STOP EVER!!

5) Secular parents, if you would like to participate in a survey conducted by Foundation Beyond Belief you have until Friday to do so. Secular parenting survey.

6) It appears I have to work out three hours a day and skip all wine, beer, and chocolate if I ever want to lose even a single pound. Frustrating, that.

7) I can now run 6 miles! Almost halfway there to the 13 miles half marathon in April. One would think I'd be dropping weight... (yes yes, I know, it's all muscle weight, and that's great and awesome! Shut up, will you??)

8) 35 and pimply.

9) I love my life in spite of it all. :)

10) This writing thing is still not going anywhere.

11) I have the coolest friends ever. Thank you, friends!!

Chocolate, roses, sappy cards...

2010-02-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

Ah yes, it's Valentine's Day... day of love and romance... day of expensive red roses, pralines, and sappy Hallmark cards. They started putting up the red and pink heart decoration the day after Christmas, I swear, because really, there is nothing we'd like better than to buy chocolates and cards and little cute cups with hearts and teddy bears saying I love you or Be Mine right after Christmas... for the next two months. Yep, gotta love it.

Now here's the problem with this. I walked past the Valentine crap stand bravely every time I saw it, cuz if I didn't I might actually break down and get that ~~totally adorable~~ awful crappy little Mon Chi Chi bear and pay way too much for it, and then have it sit on my nightstand and collect dust.
So I was brave. I didn't even look. (I may have glanced, but that's not the same as actually looking.) The days went by and all was well... until yesterday.

Because yesterday I walked into Target with Blue Eyed Boy to buy a birthday present for one of his friends. Hordes of people piled up in front of the Valentine's cards. And that is when it occurred to me, that today, on this February 14, 2010 is my 10 year engagement anniversary. Yes, 10 years ago on this very day, Ogre took me out to a fancy little restaurant. After dinner he pulled out a piece of paper with a poem he had written. I was so happy and teary eyed I forgot to say yes.

Well, much as I would have liked to try and fight my way through the hordes, I had no time. We were running late for a birthday party (why do I always have to buy presents at the very last minute??).
I drove Blue Eyed Boy to the party, had to leave about an hour later to meet with our Realtor to look at a house, that had looked pretty decent from the pictures but turned out to be a piece of crap. Talked to the Realtor for a while... then picked up Blue Eyed Boy from Shady Lady's house, because she had taken him home after the party (thanks!!), sat on her couch for a while (attacked by her dog) to tell her about my awful house experience, then drove home to make dinner.
Then we watches Spaceballs, because that is one heck of a funny movie, and before I knew it it was 10pm.

And so it happens, that it is Sunday morning... Valentine's Day, and I have absolutely no sappy card for Ogre... no chocolates, no flowers, no idea even what to do for a special breakfast. Ashes on my unworthy pate.

Can we postpone Valentine's Day? How's next weekend? I mean 10 years and a week is still acceptable, right?

Well, ya gotta hand it to the Duggars...

2010-02-11T18:54:00.000-08:00

... as they welcomed their 19th child to their ginormous family, born prematurely (15 weeks early), they must have one heck of a sex life. No really, think about it. I have two!! I have long days filled with... well... kids and laundry and cooking and such. By the time the kids are in bed I'm so tired that the mere thought of any physical activity makes me want to crawl into bed, pull my blanket over my head and pretend I'm asleep. And I don't even have to. Because I actually do fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Now imagine 19 children!!

Baby 18 was born in January 2009. As I'm doing the math in my head and think of all the physical and biological changes a woman's body goes through right after pregnancy, I also remember that the last thing on my mind after either of my children were born, was sex. Even IF I believed in any supreme beings who wanted me to get with it, I'm afraid I'd have to politely decline and ask to be given the appropriate amount of time to bond with my newborn baby and settle in, and be the best mom I can be... all while being shaken by raging hormones and leaky boobs.

I wish nothing but the best for litte Josie, and I do hope being born so early won't have any lasting effects on her health. As for her parents, buy a TV, damn it. I wish Mama Duggar would give herself a much needed break, so her body can truly recover from the stresses of pregnancy, and so she can actually truly be a mother to that little one.

Jump right in or process first?

2010-02-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

So I want to go on a cruise. A homeschooling cruise with the whole fam damily. The homeschooling cruises are really reasonably priced, and we need a vacation badly. And I'm not saying a camping trip with the trailer, that involves packing the trailer, buying the food, cooking the food, cleaning out the trailer, unpacking the trailer, washing all the dirty laundry.... You get the point. I love camping. Very much so. But the fact is, we haven't ever gone on a "real" vacation. You know, a vacation where you get pampered. Where the only thing you have to worry about is whether to have grapes or oranges for breakfast.

I get easily excited about stuff. Show me something cool, and I need about ten minutes to know exactly that this is what I want (or not). Heck, it took me 2 seconds to say yes, when my husband proposed ten years ago.

I don't like to spend a whole lot of time thinking through an idea... then thinking it through again... and then considering what might go wrong, or trying to come up with reasons why it's a bad idea. I suppose my gut feeling usually doesn't fail me, so jump in and swim, right?

Well, the man I'm married to doesn't function this way. He needs all the information, look it through, calculate, process, and yes, sometimes it seems like he is actually trying to find reasons against something. I'm not holding this against him. He is the way he is, and I suppose that in a way my jump right in attitude and his let's think and process this first attitude mix well, although I'm certain he gets as frustrated with my approach to new idea as I get frustrated with his hesitation.

I still want to go on a cruise. I want to spend the day with other homeschoolers, do workshops, hang out by the pool, see nothing but ocean around me, and eat without having to cook and clean up the kitchen afterwards. So all I need to do now is to create a portfolio with all the necessary information and pricing, then present it to the boss for consideration. I shall keep you posted. :)

Harriet Tubman and Slavery

2010-02-02T16:28:00.000-08:00

When we go to the library I usually select books to read fairly randomly. Sometimes I have a specific subject in mind, but more often than not I try to come up with ideas for what to do with my children.

Last time at the library I borrowed a book called "An Apple for Harriet Tubman", which describes the life of young Harriet as a slave, and how apples played a role in her quest for freedom.
While reading the story we wanted to find out more about Harriet Tubman's life and found a quiz, and more info at Enchanted Learning.

Then we looked up Underground Railroad, and found this awesome activity on Teacher Scholastic. You can follow a slave on his trip from a plantation to freedom in the North. It is called Underground Railroad - escape from slavery.
You can read or listen to the text, look at pictures/slideshows, and at the end you can even write a coded secret letter. The information is pretty extensive, and we actually had to break it up, because the kids were starting to get a little antsy after a while. But that's the beauty about it. You just stop and come back later.

My daughter was quite upset by some of the things that happened to slaves, and I think it's most definitely one of the most important subjects to teach children. Go check it out.

Food

2010-01-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

So I just made an online order the other day with this place called Azure Standard, that sells natural, organic foods, and delivers it to certain drop points. I can make orders every two weeks, and they will have a big truck deliver the goods at Village, where we take our homeschooling classes. As I was browsing through the items, I found some of those rice krispies thingies (those in a square with marshmallow cream)... but the organic kind. In my mind I could see some of my friends' faces, if I allowed to have my children bring "junk" food like this into public. No, I don't have judgmental friends, but well, every now and then you can't help feeling guilty for indulging in pleasures that are "not good" for you.

My finger was hovering over the "add to cart" button, and was about to not click, when I remembered something from my own childhood. My parents were pretty strict about candy. Any kind of candy that came into the house was hidden away and strictly rationed. Chips, pretzels or such things were bought once a year for New Year's Eve. I started buying my own candy at the tender age of 5. I would take my 10 pennies and walk to the store and buy gummy candies... little white mice and pink mushrooms, that tasted somewhat like marshmallows. Later on I spent my entire allowance on candy. We're talking bags of gummy bears, chips, chocolate, bubble gum... you name it. If it was a candy, I would buy it. I was always out of money, but always had a stash of candy somewhere in my room.

I clicked "add to cart", and decided guilt is not going to be an issue here. The fact is, I teach my children even at this young age about ingredients. I buy organic foods, educate my family about what makes it good or bad. I don't buy low fat anything, because I don't believe in the low fat craze. I try my very best not to shop the center aisles of the store. My children love and appreciate apples, bananas, oranges and other foods. They eat every vegetable I have put in front of their faces (including brussels sprouts). Neither of them spends their money on candy... yet.

And who knows, maybe, even if I did keep all the candy away from them, they wouldn't. But my own experience seems to point into that direction. If you don't allow it, they will get it somewhere else. And that is true for so many other things too. I don't want that to happen. I don't want them to be broke and with secret stashes of candy. My candy addiction is still giving me grief to this day. Candy is still dangerous to me, and at times it takes tremendous willpower to stay away from that chocolate in the cabinet.

Rice Krispies aren't going to kill them, as far as I am concerned. :) We all do need our guilty little pleasures, don't we? If they understand the importance of good food, a healthy diet and exercise, then this treat of Rice Krispies is only rounding out their understanding about food.

I'm sitting

2010-01-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah, really. I'm just sitting here, doing absolutely nothing. Okay, well, I'm not doing nothing. I'm actually watching Ogre as he is getting ready for his skiing day at Timberline. Ogre and all of his male family members have a habit of holding their faces funny and sticking out their tongues in the corner of their mouths. They're proud of the "M-Family" mouth. Not that it is in any way attractive or charming. It really is just disturbing when you watch a 43 year old man making a funny face and sticking out his tongue as he tries to put his water bag into the carrier, or as he pours himself a glass of orange juice. No, I'm not being mean... It would be mean if Ogre was self conscious about it. But he's not. And I'm afraid that my son will pick up on this "M-Family" mouth at all, and someday his wife will sit and watch in amazement, as the mouth does its thing.

Another thing that's happening while I sit here is the constant chatter of a little boy, who suddenly realized, that almost all of his classmates in his homeschooling classes are girls. "I must say, there are mostly girls. And you know what else? I'm in a class for 5 and 6 year olds, and there is a 4 year old in there." Wow! That's practically a baby, right? I mean how can you force an almost 7 year old boy to have classes with 4 year olds? SERIOUSLY! But then the little boy realized, that, wait a minute, one of his best friends is 4. Well, in that case...

And now a little (not so little anymore) girl has joined the gang, and both children demand breakfast. I suppose my sitting time is over. Wait!! Do it yourselves, kids. My behind has just flattened out so beautifully and fits right on the chair. I'm not going anywhere.

Random Ramblings

2010-01-22T09:28:00.000-08:00

1) The husband woke up at 8:45am, came downstairs, warmed up some cold coffee from yesterday, because he ran out of new coffee... the phone rang, and he's gone. Good morning, Ogre!!!

2) I went out two nights in a row this week. TWO nights! I ended up in bed around midnight each night, which is not so bad, right? Woke up around 5 both mornings, tossed and turned until around 7, then got up. By last night I was a wreck. How was I ever able to dance the night away until 4 in the morning, and then get up at 9, because my whole family was up and yelling around the house?
Oh wait... I was 18.

3) I love my bangs. No really, I do. It took my hair a few days to understand, that it had to be bangs now. When it finally caved, I actually started liking it. The last compliment I got was, "Wow, I love your bangs, they make you look younger... Uhm, not that you looked old before." Gee, thanks. ;-)

4) I listened to the radio on the way to the gym this morning. Four commercials in a row included the phrase, "In times like these you... " Yeah, let's remind all those people out there, that it's "times like these", where everything is supposed to be really difficult for you. Don't you dare forget!!

5) Curse you PacificSource for rejecting me for Vitamin D deficiency. I dare you to test every single one of your employees. 95% of them will be mildly to severely deficient! It's flippin' Oregon! People are deficient here. We get to see the sun about an hour every now and then. In the summer we slather on enough sunscreen to fill my kids' inflatable pool. Vitamin D doesn't stand a chance! Oh, and thanks for punishing me for listening to my body and finding out what's wrong with it, so I can actually fix it and be a healthy human being. (No, really, people, you need to do your research about this. Even Arizonans are deficient in Vitamin D, because 1) they can't go outside, 2) when they do, they wear sunscreen!)

6) Note to self: If you want to be a famous writer, you actually need to do some writing every now and then. Just sayin'.

7) Taxonomy charts are fun and educational, and quite messy. Toothless Fairy wants to be a scientist now. It was a lawyer last week. And last month she wanted to be a doctor. In addition she'd like to be singer. I hope she gets to do it all. :)

8) I hated school. Really hated it with all my heart. I hated my teacher, because most of them were quite arrogant. They didn't get children. They pushed their curriculum. If you fell behind, oh well... tough shit. I also didn't care much for some of my classmates, but cared a lot about others. And I admit I'm a little sad, that those I cared for won't accept my friendship requests on FB. I'd love to catch up. Nothing else, just find out, what they're up to these days. *sigh*

9) How is it that people who send their children to public school get to say to me, upon finding out that I homeschool, "I could never do that." "Why would you do that to your child?", but it is not acceptable for me to ask, "Why would you send your child to public school?" Stop asking me these questions, and I won't ask you these questions. You can do with your child whatever you want. It's your child. Let me do what I want with mine. Thanks! ;)

10) I conquered the cable knit! Yippeeee!!! Cable sweater, here I come.

11) TFSMIF (Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster It's Friday).

Writing is a beautiful passion

2010-01-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

I love to write almost as much as I like to read. I write on my blogs, I write on Examiner.com as the Portland Area Homeschooling Examiner, and I write whenever I find the time to. I love to read my husband's writing. The man has a talent, and I really think he should do something with it. But he says it takes him forever, and he doesn't have the patience.

Of course sometimes writing can be frustrating, and it just kind of drags on and on, and you have no idea if it's any good, because you've read it a million times.

And then there are times, when writing is all wrong. And I mean all wrong as in, the editor tells you that what you wrote is not at all, what she envisioned, and she wants you to fix it by the 8th. And you know that this is entirely your fault, because you didn't read ALL of the assignment, so you can't even blame her.

Yes, unfortunately this is exactly what happened to me. I get to do my article of 1800 words all over again, because I didn't pay attention to one paragraph in my assignment. But I'm still lucky, because my lovely editor has given me the chance to make it right, instead of asking someone else to do it instead. So, thank you, Mary. I am getting to work right now.

Someday I'll laugh about this...

Today's the day...

2010-01-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

The kids are back to school, the moms stay at home and do their happy dance, or I so I've read it on various Facebook status updates, and the dads are off to work for the day.

Well, things around here are of course a little different. My kids are at this moment still in bed (it's 8:07am). I sit alone at the kitchen table, eating a banana, reading my favorite news sites and blogs, and Ogre is upstairs in his office. In a while one of my kids will stumble down the stairs, crawl up on my lap (although they're both getting too big for such things) and cuddle up while they try to wake up. A few minutes later the other child will follow and take over with the cuddling session. Then they'll sit together and decide what they want for breakfast and while they eat, we'll talk about what we'd like to do for school today. Four subjects a day are the rule, and math and reading is a requirement for each day.
They have a say about the other two subjects they want to cover. For my daughter that might be typing and our reading/doodling session, my son might stick around for reading/doodling, but will choose something crafty for the next subject.

We will likely be done by lunch time, or continue on for a little while after lunch, then (because we can't go outside because it's raining cats and dogs) take out a game and play, or bake cookies, or watch some TV.

At lunch time we will sit together with Ogre, who will ask the kids about what they've done this morning, and they will have a lively discussion about whatever subject interests them most. I love Ogre's discussion with his kids. I love that he can be around for lunch and listen to what they have to say.

Later in the afternoon we'll talk about what we want for food for the rest of the week, then make a shopping list. My daughter will likely go to the store with me, while my son will stay at home to play on the Wii. Or I might do my shopping while my daughter is in ballet class.

We will have dinner, then everybody does what they like to do best. I will likely knit, the kids will very likely either fight over the TV or my daughter will hide in her room and do a craft, and Ogre will discuss the latest news with me or read a book.

I love these days. I never knew that this is what I would want for my life. I'm German, homeschooling is illegal there. Had you asked me about homeschooling my future children about ten years ago, I would have shaken my head at you. :)

Next week we'll go back to Village Home, where my kids take a few classes, and get to play with their other homeschooled friends. I'm excited to go back, as that is the place where I get to play with MY friends too. :)

Yep, I wouldn't want it any other way. Life is pretty darn cool just the way it is.

The never-ending hair drama continued...

2010-01-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

So I wanted bangs. Perfectly reasonable, right? According to all those fancy internet websites I am a woman of perfect proportions (when it comes to my oval head shape) to wear bangs. And because I'm the kind of woman, who doesn't hesitate much, I took the scissors to my hair and cut myself some bangs. And I LOVED them!!

Then I needed to get a haircut. Because sometimes you need to do that, because otherwise your hair will frizz out like crazy and break off. And that's exactly what happened to my hair. But I had to wait to cut it, because I want to grow it out, and I promised myself to that I wouldn't go back to get it cut, until it was actually "long" (that is long enough to make a small pony tail), so that when my hair guy cuts it, it won't be short again. Are you still following me?

And so, I went in yesterday, after dropping my folks off at the airport. And my hair guy was happy to see me and commented on how long my hair was and how much he liked it. I told him, that he needed to help with my bangs. "Make it right," I told him. He was happy to oblige and explained to me that bangs with a side swish were all the rage now. Certainly I had noticed that on all the celebrity beauties. Oh my, I thought, side swish on me!! Lovely! "Make it so," I told him, and he got to work.

The result? Well... you see, here's the thing. I'm no celebrity beauty. It took me all of 15 seconds to figure this out, when I looked in the mirror, after Hair Guy was done with me. Hair Guy looked at me in anticipation. I looked at myself, and saw me... two decades younger. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a woman, looking younger ranks really high with financial independence and all of that good stuff. But two decades taken off a 35 year old... you see where I'm coming from? NOT GOOD! And my currently pimply forehead doesn't really help my case either. I look like a pubescent 15 year old... heck, I don't even look as good as a pubescent 15 year old.

"Do you like it?" was my husband's first comment, when I walked in the door. I put on my happy face and said "Yeaaah, man, I love it." Because if I said to him, that I hate it, he'd tell me, that he told me so, and I hate when he says that. I went into the bathroom and dried and sprayed and frowned at my reflection. "Stupid you, stupid, stupid," I mumbled.

Later that day a friend came over to drop something off. "You cut your hair," she said. I nodded. "Do you like it?" she asked. And that's when it occurred to me that this is the question that people ask, when they don't want to say something like, "Oh my, this hair cut sucks. What the hell?" It's great though. People mean well. They're very diplomatic. And because she was smiling at me, and expected some sort of answer, I told her, that I had to wait a day or two and dry it myself. Certainly it would look better then. Yes?

Really what I should do for the rest of my life is to resist the urge to do anything with me hair. Anything at all. Grow it, cut the ends, grow it, cut the ends, grow it, cut the ends. Don't cut bangs, don't curl it, don't EVER let him dye it (he suggested some copper demi something that he thought would look just awesome with my skin tone... HA, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY HAIR!!!). Of course my resolution will last exactly as long as it takes to get sick of my current look. An invisible force will take control over my soul and tell Hair Guy, that I want something new and fancy. I should mention at this point, that he is a really awesome hair stylist with great talent, and I sent all my friends there, because I love him! He only ever does what I tell him to do, and sometimes he even asks me not to do something when he's not convinced that I'm doing the right thing... like when I cut my hair completely short last year? He begged me to leave it long. But I was brutal, I made him suffer through it, and he cut it just as short as I wanted it. It's really not his fault at all, that I hated it about a month later.

Something tells me that this will not be my last hair post... but hey, maybe I was able to keep someone else from making an appointment to get side swish bangs, or follow the urge to go short, or bleach or... you get the point.

2009/2010

2009-12-31T14:13:00.000-08:00

So I had a discussion with someone who asked me why I made new year's resolutions. Couldn't I just make them throughout the year? She insisted, that she made them whenever it was necessary to make them. She didn't need a certain date to come up with good resolutions. I agreed with her of course, that it was quite alright to make resolutions any old time, if that's what you want to do.

But also, why NOT make resolutions at the end of the year? Is there a reason why I shouldn't? I do slow down after Christmas and before the New Year, before I get back to business as usual. After the hustle and bustle of the Holidays, the parties, the food, and the many gifts, there really is no better time than to sit back, and let your mind wander a bit. What is it I did this past year? What good things happened to me? What bad things casted a shadow over me? And what can I do better next year?

I like a fresh start January 1st with renewed energy and this incredible joy, that I'm alive and kicking, and that I'm getting yet another chance to improve my ways, my thinking, my goals for the future. This doesn't stop me from re-thinking ideas, or changing directions, when I deem it necessary. But what better time is there to set short term, mid term, and long term goals than January 1st?

Of course, it doesn't matter at all, when you set these goals for yourself. Just keep those goals alive. Don't stop planning. There is nothing more frustrating than to be stuck in your tracks without moving forward and up, up, up!! :)

To all of you, whatever your tradition, whatever your plans, whatever your goals, I wish you success in everything you do. I wish you health, satisfaction, and happiness.

See you all next year. :)

Little lessons...

2009-12-06T22:24:00.000-08:00

I always hoped that I would be the parent my kids trust to come to when something is wrong. Instead of confiding in their friends (which of course to a certain degree is in order and necessary, as I do think they need to have their little secrets from us parents), I hoped my children knew that it is always best to tell us, Mom and Dad, what's wrong. Well, I still do hope that this is going to be the case. The other day we got a little practice lesson in, which I'd like to share with you.

Toothless Fairy (who by the way will not be toothless for too much longer, and I'll have to be really creative and find a new name for her) came charging down the stairs, waving her arms around wildly, announcing out of breath that she went into my bathroom to brush her teeth, and realized when she walked back out that the little Magical Crystal Tree Set we had put on my dresser, was on the ground. Broken. "That's soooo weird, Mom, how did that happen?" Yes, yes, strange indeed.

I exchanged a "look" with Ogre and addressed my children,

SLF: Now children, can we agree that this set didn't just commit suicide by way of hopping off the dresser?

C1 and C2 nod.

SLF: Based on my experiences, dear children, your daddy did not throw the set off the dresser and then just walked into the living room and never told me about it. Can we agree on that too?"

Slight giggle... what a silly thought... daddy throwing down something and then not admitting to it.

SLF: Well, then, I know that I didn't throw it down. It still stood firmly on the dresser when I left earlier. No wind, no earthquake. It really leaves only two people, who might be able to explain what happened.

Both children shake their heads and insist they didn't do it.

SLF: I'd like to tell you both, that a lie about something so small is going to make me much more upset than if you told me the truth about it. I know you didn't do it on purpose, and if you told me now that it happened by accident, I will actually be proud of you for being brave and admitting to it.

TF: (bursting into tears!) I'm so sorry, Mommy. It was an accident. I was trying to reach behind it, and threw it off. I didn't mean to.

Lots of tears, big relief, hugs, kisses, apologies... after which I stressed to both children that there is nothing worse than a lie, and there is nothing better than the truth. I can help when they tell me the truth. They will always be better off with the truth. And what a great way for them to find out that these are not just words... that we actually mean it and act upon it.

I did tell them honestly (yep, gotta be truthful here too), that I can't promise I will never get angry at them for getting in trouble. After all I'm not a machine. But I love them, more than anything in the world. I need them to be safe, and I need their help with it, by always being honest with me.

Who knows what will happen when they're 14, 15, 16 years old. I don't even care to remember the kind of trouble I got in, that my parents still don't know about to this day. But I think, for now I taught them an important lesson, that hopefully helped them build some trust for the future... when the problems is not just a little crystal growing kit... but something bigger and worse.

Whoop-di-dooo... gotta love parenting. :)

Random Ramblings

2009-12-04T16:22:00.000-08:00

1) Yes, dear Blue Eyed Boy, it is December, it's very cold outside and I insist you wear a coat! Okay, fine, you don't have to wear a hat or gloves. But you ARE wearing a coat.

2) Chocolate and marzipan, marzipan and chocolate, a perfect combination. Add to that a glass of Amaretto... bliss!!

3) Yes, dear religious person, I do celebrate Christmas. Yes, I call it Christmas and not x-mas. No, I don't celebrate the birth of anyone. I do celebrate the love of my family. :) Yes, the Christmas tree is in fact a pagan tradition. (No offense to anyone, I just get asked this very same question every year.)

4) I was asked to speak to a group of Humanists in NM, concerning Secular Sunday School. I admit I'm extremely tickled to be considered an "expert" in that field, and I'm giving this some serious thought.

5) I wrote a 50.000 word novel in the month of November!!! And I actually don't think it's crappy. Amazing, that.

6) My mommy will be here in 2 weeks. And my daddy will be so glad to have the opportunity to watch German TV in my house.

7) Knitting is knotty! :)

8) I should start making a list. I have no list... and the in-laws are asking for ideas already. Can't we all just celebrate without presents???

9) I'm going to run a half marathon in April. I'm pumped!

10) Ogre wants to have a chat. Must go now.

Happy "Season"!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T07:43:00.001-08:00

Yeah, it's been a while... a long while. My last post was from when my niece was born. In the meantime I have been to Germany, met my niece, and I love her like mad already. We are done with our first term at Village Home, and now have a seven week break, and I have written 30,000 words of a novel as part of National Novel Writing Month.

Thanksgiving this year will be at my house. And Shady Lady and Princess are going to join us for it. Yay! :)

Thanksgiving is not a holiday we celebrated in Germany, and when I just moved to America it didn't mean much to me at all. As a matter of fact, for the first 6.5 years that I lived in Arizona, Thanksgiving was always a bit of a drag. Don't get me wrong, I loved being with the in-laws, have a big family get-together and all. But, and this was a bit of a downer, I never liked their food. I hated the stuffing, wasn't in love with the turkey, really really did not like the thick gooey gravy, and could never warm up to pumpkin pie. I don't like the taste of pumpkin, and then there is this texture issue... Every year I'd ask my in-laws what I could bring to Thanksgiving. Of course everyone in the family already had their traditional dishes and side dishes they were bringing. And so, to be nice to the German intruder, I was given small assignments like salad... and one year even red cabbage. In the beginning I brought a traditional German cake. Well, as it turns out, they didn't like MY food either. They ate all of theirs and didn't touch mine. I think I finally gave up asking in my 5th year. There was no use. Thanksgiving was not my holiday, and I was never going to make the right thing. So why bother?

Of course then we moved to Oregon, and when my friend HerbiFaery invited me to Thanksgiving I gladly accepted. What else was I going to do? Thanksgiving wasn't MY holiday after all. It was a lovely day at HerbiFaery's house with her family... but still I felt like an intruder. It didn't feel quite right. And so last year I decided we were staying home. Thanksgiving was celebrated just by us, Ogre, Toothless Fairy, Blue Eyed Boy and myself. We ate roasted turkey, delicious Such Lovely Freckles gravy, beans, and mashed potatoes. Ogre made a pumpkin pie, that I didn't eat. He also made sweet potatoes with marshmallows, which absolutely cannot and will not eat. Potatoes and marshmallows... I mean, come on, really??? :-) Well, either way, it was a good day, and most importantly, it was MINE. Thanksgiving was MY holiday at last.

Today, Shady Lady will bring the cranberries and sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Ogre will roast the turkey, and I will make the beans, the mashed potatoes and the gravy. No stuffing! I will make pumpkin pie for them, and apple pie for me. And something tells me it will be a wonderful day.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there. I hope that your Thanksgiving can be truly YOURS, the way that MINE is MINE. I am extremely grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

Sitting... waiting...

2009-10-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

I hate it. On days like this it sucks to live half a world away from my family, who rejoices in the birth of my new baby niece Julia. I am overjoyed, but a little sadness is mixed in as well, when I think about how they can all sit together to welcome this new human to the family. I so want to be there.

They had to do a c-section, so my brother was the first person to hold his daughter. My brother who was never going to be a father, who, if you asked him how he liked a baby, he'd say, "Well, it's a baby. It's bald and ugly." He held his daughter and was asked by my mom, what she looks like... and he said, "Beautiful." Of course he did. They all do turn around when it's their own, don't they?
I am still in disbelief, and I have yet to wait a few hours to even get to see a few pictures of this new little bundle of joy.

I can't hold back the tears as I'm writing this post. It's truly a miracle. One more month until I get to see her... and until I get to see a transformed brother. I cannot wait.

Happy birthday, baby Julia.

On a cold and rainy October day...

2009-10-04T07:47:00.000-07:00

... my kids and I are sitting at the breakfast table together. Ogre has left for a mushroom hunting trip somewhere in Washington. Blue Eyed Boy has turned on the skull and pumpkin lights at the kitchen window, Toothless Fairy is spreading Nutella on her bread, and for the first time this season the fireplace is back on, filling the room with warmth, and casting a lovely orange light on the carpet. It's a truly lovely morning that holds the promise of cozy winter days, that I look forward to now that I had my final summer fix in Jamaica. :)

Today my kids and I will hang out for a while this morning, maybe we'll decorate the house with pumpkins and things, then it's off to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes (we are frequent customers who should receive a discount every time we eat there), and then we'll go see "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs", which I have been looking forward to for about a year now.

In the afternoon we'll drop by the mall, go to my favorite tea place and buy a new and fancy Rooibos tea, then enjoy a delicious cup of the new hot brew, maybe reading a book together... or finish my second sock, or tell stories or cuddle up with the little ones.

Make it so, Number One. (Not sure how that just popped into my head.)

When all you want to do is eat and sleep...

2009-10-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

... then it's either it's that time of the month, or you are having a hard time switching back from vacation to real life. The latter is true for me. I go to bed too early, I wake up at 4am, I am exhausted by noon, and my ears are bugging me again. Makes me think I should finally take Evonne up on her offer to check them. I mean, what the heck?

And since I'm complaining... could I please not lose my tan already? Sure, I have some tan lines in places that are rather weird. But seriously, I enjoyed the stronger freckles. Not that they ever really disappear, but I like my tan. Yeah, I'm really that shallow. I worry about my flippin' tan. I'm too tired to worry about world peace and universal healthcare. (Have I mentioned that I'm pro-healthcare, and that since I've lived in a country where it works I know that it works? Does that make sense? Will you stop reading me now, because your health insurance works for you and that's all that matters to you, and you don't care about the rest? Oh yikes, I promised I would not write about politics... and here I go. Blame it on the moon. It's not quite full, but full enough.)

Anyway, readers, like it or not, I'm back... more or less... I will read you... sooner or later... and I will comment on your blogs... or not. In the meantime I will try to adjust to real life... you know the one, where I have to be the one to do all the cooking and cleaning and driving and entertaining and teaching and organizing, and someday, after I get back into my routine, hopefully I'll get back to writing and sending queries and make a career as a writer... you know... in about 18 years or so. :)

Ya man...

2009-09-27T08:48:00.001-07:00

Me make sock...

2009-09-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

...me proud!!!

Jamaica, here I come!!!

2009-09-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

In two days I will leave my lovely Oregon for a few days and trade it in for a Beaches resort in Jamaica, where I'll spend my time with my best friends, cocktails with umbrellas, pools, ocean, and a lovely wedding ceremony.

I am trying to prepare for this, and while I'm going solo, and it should be easy... there is some planning to do, considering the fact, that my family has to somehow survive without their mother, which will be just fine... But the father of my lovely brood wants a schedule for their classes, for their work at home. Aside from that I have some Village Home stuff to take care of. I also have to hit the library, and Michael's for yarn (I have become a sock knitting fool). I found out on the TSA website, that it is in fact alright to take knitting needles on board, and so I shall... because I have plenty of flying time, layovers, and a bus drive between here and the resort. I should challenge myself to knit a whole pair of socks (for a child!!) during that time. Can I do it, if I start knitting right after takeoff at PDX?

I will keep you posted.

Ladies, gentlemen (are there any gentleman?)... take care, and I'll "see" you soon.

A blog post on my other blog...

2009-09-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

The Humanist Homeschool Mom

A couple of years ago my husband and I started a program for secular families. We taught what we called "Rational Sunday School" to children. I remember our humble beginnings in a coffee shop. We talked about Galileo Galilei, evolution, dinosaurs, and finally about humans and ethics. We made a point not to make this program a religion bashing session. That's not what we're here for.
As a matter of fact, I am now even leaning toward calling it Secular Sunday School rather than Rational Sunday School, as I do not want to imply that religious people aren't capable of rational thought. That is NOT our mission.

The mission is to raise children to be open-minded, freethinking, ethical human beings, who will hopefully manage to live peacefully among their peers, may they be Christians, Muslims, Buddhists or Jews... Pagans, Wiccans or well, Atheists and Agnostics.

In the bigger picture my very own mission is also to promote a more positive picture of atheism. If I can help even in a small way to make people understand, that we are not out to get them, that we are not grumpy and angry (well, some are, but I'm not)... and if in the process I can show the children in my class, that there are more of us and that it's okay to be us, then I know I will have accomplished something, that in the future my children won't have to accomplish anymore. It will already be done for them. Ideally my children will not face the exact same struggles as we do... I'd hate to think that there is no learning curve from generation to generation. ;-)

Well, this fall we will finish up our Six Pillars of Character Curriculum. These six pillars should really be taught to all humans, religious or non-religious, although I must say that most of them we know intuitively. We are born with a conscience, and very quickly we learn what it means to be honest and caring and responsible etc. The Six Pillars are: Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, Trustworthiness and Citizenship. It's amazing to see the kids put their minds to the subject, to see a message go through to them. And my hopes are that they do go home and put these lessons to good use.

I'm also working on "what comes next" in our Sunday School journey. I want to teach religious education to the kids. I want them to understand what Christianity is. I want them to understand what Judaism and Buddhism is. I want to try to cover all the major world religions, and then I want to cover ancient religions... the Egyptian, Greek, and Roman gods, and the Norse gods. I hope to instill a curiosity in the kids to find out, how these religions started... and why some just disappeared, while others lived on into modern times. By the time we're done I hope the kids will have a real understanding of religion... in a kid friendly way. It's a challenge, that much is clear. And sometimes I wonder how I ended up being the one to teach this class. After all, what credentials do I have? Am I even capable of teaching religious education to these kids?

Well, I'm a homeschooler. And almost 4 years ago, when I looked into the "subject" of homeschooling, I didn't hesitate very long. I jumped right into the deep end and started swimming. The same is true for our Secular Sunday School. I had to either jump and swim... or sit at the side of the pool and dangle my feet into the water. And that just simply wasn't an option. I like swimming... :)

Random Ramblings

2009-09-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

1) It appears that autumn has arrived. We're told that a mini heatwave will hit us here mid-week, with a high of 90F. I have a feeling that will be the end of summer. We had as much rain yesterday as in the previous three months combined, it seems. Ah yes, the beautiful Pacific Northwest. :)

2) The problem I have with this weather is that the cantaloupe I planted in May is just now developing fruits. They are beautiful, but still very very green, and I'm afraid that I will not get to eat them, which is a real pity.

3) I have two kids here, one playing a game on a laptop, the other one playing a game on the DS... each of them making a ton of noise. Meh...

4) I'm going to Jamaica soon, and I still do not have a swimsuit. What'll I do??? I went to the swim wear place in town and about passed out at the sight of their prices. The one swimsuit that "appealed" to me was (even on sale) almost $100. What the heck?? It's a piece of fabric. Why would I spend a hundred bucks on it? Where else can I go to buy swimsuits at the end of summer?

5) I have a little message stuck on my board asking me, "Have you written anything yet?" This is supposed to serve as a reminder that I actually have to sit down each day and write. It doesn't matter what. An article, a story, my book... or just well, Random Ramblings I suppose.

6) Last night I went to see Julie & Julia and loved it. And I was totally inspired to cook more adventurous again. I love to cook and I'm good at it. And no, I'm not going to start a blog, cooking each and every Julia Child recipe for the next year. I might as well shoot myself.

7) I love Stephanie Plum novels. :)

8) I love the song Uprising by Muse. I want to listen to it all day long. It is soooooo awesome.

9) I lost three pounds. Thank you, Michael Pollan. You have changed my life. I want to meet Michael Pollan. How could I have missed his visit to Portland earlier this year? *sigh*

10) My mens lasted 5 days. Hundreds of dollars spent on a couple of doctor's visits... and now everything just goes back to normal? After 6 and a half years everything just simply goes back to normal? Hmph... uh... hooray?

11) Making preserves is fun. Who knew I'd turn into my grandma? Today: apple jelly. Yum!

12) When I was 25 I told everyone that at 35 I'd get a boob job. Reduction and lift. I will be 35 in three days. I am no longer interested in a boob job. How did I become wise? I'm wise, right? Anybody? Echooooooo!!!

13) My birch trees have red and yellow leaves... thanks not to early fall, but to Toothless Fairy, who took the water colors to the birch trees and gave them an autumn makeover.

14) Life is pretty darn good... even on a Monday morning.

Disney Fairies revisited

2009-09-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, some of you can be proud of me now. :) I allowed me daughter to sign up for Disney Fairies, if she paid for it with her own money. She was excited and sat and played for the next couple of days.
Then she played again after another two days or so. Then again after about a week. She has not signed on for about a week, her initial euphoria about being able to do this and buy that, has worn off, and when I asked her if she wanted to renew next month, she shrugged her shoulders. She's just not quite sure... ;-)

Enter www.girlsense.com! A website for girls, that allows you to create fashion, sell it, buy it, and earn trophies and such. As far as I know it's free. :) My daughter is happy. I am too.

All is well.

When the good news are bad news...

2009-09-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

So, if you've been reading me for a while, you know I have had some health issues, that had me visiting one doctor after another after another. Everyone of these doctors did a variety of tests on me. Blood tests, ultrasounds, x-rays... you name it. I was always sent home with the same information: You are a perfectly healthy woman. Go home. Or well, my very first doctor, upon my complaint that I had 3 weeks of menses, told me that nature hated me, and I had to just live with that.

Well, nature must really hate me a lot. Because six years later I still have that problem. Where friends don't even wear tampons I could open my own factory just for my own supply of tampons.

Recently I added fatigue, weight gain, skin problems and a couple of other symptoms to the list, and I decided it was once again time to see a doctor. I was convinced that he was it. He was awesome. He listened. He didn't blow me off, and he promised that if the blood tests came back normal, he'd stick with me until we figure out what the heck is wrong with me.

Ah yes, here it is, two weeks later... the blood test results are here, and I found at, yet again, that I am perfectly healthy. My thyroid levels: perfect. My hormones, my thises and thats, everything is just wonderful, Mrs. M. Alone my vitamin D is ever so slightly low. Nothing that would cause any symptoms though... and it would most certainly not explain the long menses. My doctor looks at me apologetically, smiles a sheepish smile and announces that he has no explanation, and he can also not help me any further.
Why didn't I bring a tape recorder two weeks ago? Dang!!

My doctor referred me to an internist for women, great doctor, no nonsense, down to earth... blah blah. "Maybe she'll be able to help you."

Oh sure, yeah, she'll help me, just like the long list of doctors before her. More tests that will return absolutely nothing.

I will not go back to a doctor. I have lost faith in Western medicine, and will from now on rely on myself to find the answer to my question. I will no longer be willing to shove money down the throats of people, wearing white coats, "practicing" medicine. Yes, practicing is the right word.

My birthday is in 9 days. I will be 35. The good news is, I get a (rather expensive) gift... a clean bill of health. The bad news? Oh, let's not get started about the bad news.

I'm just no good...

2009-08-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

Well, actually I'm good at many things. I believe I'm a good friend. I'm a good listener. I do a decent job at organizing in the midst of chaos, which is a little miracle in itself, because I am, at heart, the "Master of Disaster". Seriously, my husband made me a tie dye apron once, and wrote that on it. I've learned to clean up after myself, when I cook a phenomenal meal. Yes, I'm really quite good at cooking too.

My problem is, that I'm no good at all at housewiving, including any and all chores involved in the housewiving business. This wouldn't be so bad, if housewiving took up such a big part of my life. I chose to be a mother and housewife. To hell with domestic engineer. It's a cute little name for a profession that is solely devoted to keep the house clean, the kids fed, the clothes washed, and the husband beered. ;-) No, I'm really not complaining about my job. I'm just saying that I suck at it, and if it was a paid job, I would most definitely be fired. It makes you wonder, if monogamy is truly the way to go. Can you imagine being one of several wives, each chosen for their abilities and preferences? I'd do the homeschooling, another would do the cleaning, and yet another would never tire of washing clothes. (Another very important argument is the headache question. Marital "duties" (can you believe, they're calling it a duty???) would never be an issue. If I have a headache, one of the other wives will happily jump in and fulfill "the duty".

Okay, I admit, I would likely be a very sucky "one of many wives". I'll gladly pass on all the drama and bitching. And besides, I'm "blessed" with a husband, who has learned to live with the fact that I'm no good. Not that this doesn't ever cause any... uhm... friction between us. But usually there is a full garbage can (he is the trash duty dude) that I can use as an argument.

Now I just need to train the spawn to do their chores, and already my own work will be cut in half. You see? I am quite good at organizing in the midst of chaos. Something tells me I will not be fired for a very long time.

Random Ramblings

2009-08-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

1) Patience is a virtue. It makes us better people. When will I learn this? And if I don't, how do I teach my children to be patient?

2) Some doctors are really really bad. My latest doctor is really really good. Will I finally find out just what the heck is wrong with me? I actually have hope again.

3) Here's a toast to men in their 40s. They are generally (or just in my neighborhood?) hot, friendly and intelligent. No, I won't share where to find them. They're all mine.

4) My mother's knitting madness is driving me crazy. How does she do it? She has created a new knitting pattern, and will now knit an unbelievably cute jacket for my daughter. Just like that. My bet is, she will finish it before the week is over.

5) Here's a toast to men in their 40s. Oh, wait... I did that already. ;)

6) Tomatoes right out of your own garden are probably the most delicious thing (besides Dagoba chocolate) I've ever eaten. I could bathe in my tomatoes.

7) How come I always go to the coast during a heat wave? I'd like to stay put and enjoy the hotness of summer. Really, I mean it. I love fall and winter and spring. But in order to appreciate those seasons fully I need a really good summer with the occasional heat wave.

8) Okay, so the Village Home camping trip is a good alternative to the heat wave. Okay, so I'm actually excited about going. Now shut up, Shady Lady. ;-) (I love you!)

9) Overdue items at the library yet again. If I put all the money I spent on fees at the library into a piggy bank instead, I'm sure I could buy a flight to Germany soon.

10) I'm trying to keep up with all the blogs in my blog roll, I swear. I just can't. I'm fighting a losing battle. Could you all just write a little less? It would be ever so greatly appreciated. ;-)

11) Yes, man, I am aware that I have lots and lots of freckles. I see them every day.

12) I have four different kinds of honey in my cabinet. I like honey almost as much as I like tomatoes. But when will I eat it all? Oh, who cares. I love honey. Here's to honey bees. Thank you for giving me honey.

13) Bangs... can't live with them, can't live without them. Should I go bald? Will my husband divorce me if I do?

14) I borrowed a children's non-fiction book on chocolate from the library. My kids love it almost as much as I do. But I love it more. Much more.

15) Blue Eyed Boy is at this moment getting right in my face (his nose is about 2 inches away from mine) to ask me, if he can have a cookie. He is sweaty and red cheeked. What a cutie.

Later, bloggers... I have cookie duty.

How did I get that old?

2009-08-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

I had a stranger in my bathroom this morning. She stared right at me, when I washed my hands and looked up into the mirror. She had droopy eyes, messed up hair, and the most curious wrinkle stretching about 4 inches from her eye down on her cheek. A closer look revealed the true identity of the stranger... me. Damn, how did I get that old? And what is this wrinkle by my eye? I mean, yes, we all get older and wrinkles are a byproduct, that can only be avoided by Botox shots or face lifts (but have you looked at some of the plasticized faces on television lately? CREEPY!). I have made peace with the washboard wrinkles on my forehead. I'm simply wearing bangs these days.
But what the heck is that vertical wrinkle after sleeping? Does my face get squished at night, or how do I deserve this? My vertical wrinkle disappears within an hour of getting up. But what, if someday it won't? Will I have to resort to Botox? Generally I don't consider myself as an at-risk person of getting any kind of beautifying treatments, but even I can get a little shaky when stranger woman stares at me in disbelief every morning.

Another sign of increasing age, I'm told, is the urge to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. That has been a bit of a worrisome occurrence lately. Strangely I tend to dream about having to go, then wake up and have to run, because in my dream I am already in the bathroom, when in reality I'm still in bed. Having to switch on the turbo in the middle of the night doesn't help the cause of SLEEP! You return to bed, desperately trying to find a comfortable position (I have the wrong bed!), hoping to drift right back into Lala-Land, but the little machine inside your brain has decided it's time to wake up and do some thinking. There's nothing quite like middle of the night thinking sessions.

And then it's 6:30am, and the sun is up, and you know it, because you always wake up this early, no matter how many times you went to the bathroom or how much thinking you did last night. When it's 6:30, your eyes pop open, the thinking machine kicks right into gear, and of course it's time to go pee. You know it's no use resisting the inevitable, and you go. And when you're done, you wash your hands and look up and look at stranger woman. May the day begin.

In Defense of Food - An Eater's Manifesto (Michael Pollan)

2009-08-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

This is the very first sentence in the book that I have picked up last week, and that I'm reading with great interest, all the while growing more and more disillusioned about the path this country is on with its low-fat, processed food craze. I finally had to learn that food is a highly political thing, and the sale of it has nothing to do with our health and everything with money and power. All of this I've learned in the first 50 pages. :)

Michael Pollan speaks in his book about the industrialization of eating, about whole foods and their refined counterparts, about quality vs quantity, various so-called healthy and unhealthy fats, ingredients etc, and makes a strong case for returning to the roots. "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants". And one can't help wholeheartedly agreeing with him.

In the last part of his book he urges the reader to escape our Western Diet by:

"Avoiding food products containing ingredients that are a) unfamiliar, b) unpronounceable, c) more than five in number, or that include d) high-fructose corn syrup."

"Avoid food products that make health claims"

"Shop the peripheries of the supermarket and stay out of the middle."

"Get out of the supermarket whenever possible."

"Eat mostly plants, especially leaves."

"You are what what you eat eats too."

"If you have the space, buy a freezer."

"Eat well-grown food from healthy soils."

"Eat wild foods when you can."

"Be the kind of person who takes supplements." (You need to read the explanation for this)

"Eat more like the French. Or the Italians. Or the Japanese. Or the Indians. Or the Greeks."

"Regard nontraditional foods with skepticism."

"Don't look for the magic bullet in the traditional diet."

"Have a glass of wine." (Turns out I'm doing something right!!)

There is more, like the suggestion to eat real meals, not to eat alone, to eat slowly etc. But I highly recommend buying and reading the book. You will, indeed learn a lot of new, interesting and downright disturbing information, and you can't help wanting to make a change in your diet. I know I did, even though I already tried before. For almost a week now I have eaten mostly vegetables, some fruits, and of course some meat, but not nearly as much as I used to. And I do think it is making me feel better all around. Interestingly I'm not as hungry as I used to be. Maybe I will be 100 after all. :)

Is it really August?

2009-08-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm trying to slow down time just a little. How has this summer passed me by without a word? How can it be August 10? You know what this means?

It means:

1) It's Rooster X's birthday today. Happy Birthday, good friend. Have a great day. I'll have a glass of wine in your honor this evening.

2) It's sign up day at Village Home. We signed up for a bunch of really cool classes, which of course I'm quite excited about. BUT this means, it's only one more month before classes start, and this means it's also only one more month before I have yet another birthday, and it's just a little over one more month until the beginning of fall!!! Not that I don't like fall. It is generally my favorite season right up until November, when the rain returns. But this year, well, it just went too quickly.

3) Of course it also means that my brother will be a daddy in 2 1/2 months! OH MY GOSH! At the risk of repeating myself for the millionth time... I'm going to be an AUNT!!!!! Oh, and I'm going to Germany to hold my new little niece and inhale that beautiful baby scent, which will have my hormones raging and screaming and wanting a baby RIGHT NOW. (Not! Really, I can live just fine with a baby fix now and then. Now, if only that baby wouldn't grow up half a world away from me... *insertbigfatsighhere*)

4) Beautifully August means that it's time to pick peaches, and very soon also plums and then make preserves and "Pflaumenmus" (mousse au plum... tee hee!). Anybody care to join us for a trip to Sauvie Island this Thursday or Friday?

5) August means that my oldest child (have I mentioned here that we talk again?) will turn 15. In Germany that means 3 years to adulthood with all rights and duties. She'll be able to drink, drive, vote, and live on her own way too soon. I vividly remember my own 15th birthday. It was a Saturday, and my mom asked me playfully if I could take my brother to the train station in the next town. And I replied that I'll gladly do that in three years, when I have my license. And my mom laughed and walked out the door, unaware of the fact that it was my birthday. When she came back home she walked straight over to me, hugged me and apologized and of course wished me a happy birthday.

6) August means Village Home camp trip at the coast. Woohoooo... bring it on, baby. And to the weather gods, please have mercy and send the fog north or south or east. I want sunshine at the beach. Fog makes for some not so good pictures of not so visible people.

7) August means Christmas decoration and gingerbread cookies. YIKES!!!!!!!! SLOW DOWN TIME, PLEASE! I'm so not ready for this. :)

Confrontation

2009-08-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

My husband has always called me confrontational. One time, years ago, I marched up to a guy at the gym who had left the treadmill covered in sweat, told him, that it was really kind of rude of him to leave the treadmill like this, and that nobody would want to use it after him. Amazingly, despite my tone, the guy apologized and cleaned the treadmill.

Over the years I have learned to be more diplomatic about the things I say. Secretly I hate confrontations. And yet, it seems I end up in arguments I don't care for more often than is good for me. Of course, having real life arguments, is really quite different from having arguments on the internet. In real life you see the other person's face. You can read their eyes, their voice, their gestures... On the internet you rely solely on the words that are being said. A sentence that may have been written with good intentions, might be taken the wrong way, and out of this one little sentence arises a discussion, that is so useless and ridiculous, that by the end of it, you feel 1. foolish and 2. want to make it all un-happen. ;)

Such was the case in my last post about Disney Fairies. Clearly I'm as defensive as the next person about what I do as a parent, and while I am obviously 100% convinced that I'm "fighting" for the right cause, I still do have my moments when someone, (who "fights" for the same cause) says something, that I completely misinterpret. And so I sharpen my claws and growl like the proud lioness that I am, without realizing, that I misunderstood a comment to begin with.

And so, once again I have learned a lesson, I was put back in my place, and I will know to read a little more carefully and not to feel offended right away, but to question first, what it is that was really said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now on to something a little creepy. As I was writing this post, my children and one of their friends decided to go outside in the backyard. They went out through the patio door. The front door was locked. A few minutes ago the doorbell rings, and my children with friend stand in front of the door and my daughter says, "Mom, thanks for locking us out." Obviously I didn't do that. I was upstairs writing a blog post. But a quick look at the patio door confirmed, that it was, indeed, locked. Trying to be funny for the kids I said, we must have ghosts, but my daughter who freaks out fairly easily, did manage to get me a little freaked out. They went back outside... I'm yet again upstairs, and I can't help looking behind me and listening carefully for any unusual sounds. I believe we shall go for our walk to the park now. This is freaking me out.

Disney Fairies? No thanks!

2009-08-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

Toothless Fairy is a fairy fan. She loves everything fairy. She builds fairy houses, reads fairy books, and pretends to have two fairies in her care. Toothless Fairy has also found Disney Fairies. After a brief discussion I allowed her to sign up for Disney Fairies. She was thrilled, played some games, created a fairy, and even used the very kid-friendly chat (with filter mode for inappropriate words).

Today, however, Toothless Fairy requested to upgrade her membership, so she can buy things at the shop, and get her hair done, and celebrate with other fairies... all virtually. What exactly does this mean? Well, for $5.95 per month you can access all these wonderful features, create friendships, and so much more. Disney's idea is, supposedly, to create real friendship, and to help young girls "share" things with each other.

How convenient, that Disney makes $5.95 on each little girl, for offering.... nothing. I'm sure it's not at all about the money. Disney would not ever want to rip off anyone with a service, that offers nothing. Au contraire, you can even SAVE money, if you sign up for 6 months for 29.95... or for 12 months for a measly $57!! So little money for nothing.

Toothless Fairy, of course, stepped right into the trap, set out for 8 year olds. "But Mohoooom, if I don't upgrade, I can't buy a hammer, and then I can't build my house, and I can't get my hair done, and I can't do this and that... It's just not FAIR!!" All my attempts at explaining to her the difference between spending money for things you actually need or even desire (like toys and books) and spending money for virtual nothings, failed. She has decided that, since I won't pay for this fabulous service, she is going to save her money, and sign up then.

My hopes are that (at $3.50 allowance per week) she will feel it's not worth spending it on an internet site after all. One can only hope. And if she still wants to sign up, then I guess, it's a lesson she has to learn. With her money she can do whatever she wants (well, with a few exceptions of course), and hopefully, after paying up once, she'll find that spending money on real things really makes a lot more sense.

Cutting hair to grow it...

2009-07-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

Come on, it's logical, isn't it? You grow out your hair, but in the process, you need to cut it, so you won't go completely crazy, because of the various layers, that are making your hair look like crap every 6 to 8 weeks. Plus, the ends like to get frizzy and split, so cutting them is essential for your hair's sake and for your own.

To my husband "cutting hair to grow is perverse." Of course he was against my short hair to begin with, and feels confirmed in his belief, that I have made a huge mistake, after I decided that I want to grow it out again. What he doesn't realize, is that the reason for my decision to grow my hair again has nothing to do with what it looks like. I like the way my short hair looks. I grow it, because short hair is a pain in the butt to take care of. No bad hair days allowed.
But that doesn't count in my husband's humble opinion, and therefore he's right, I'm wrong, and I'm growing it, because it's ugly when it's short. And cutting it to grow it... well, that's just perverse and completely unnecessary. :)

I have a hair appointment this evening at 5:00. :P

The Toothless Fairy

2009-07-14T22:47:00.000-07:00

Some of you know the story about Toothless Fairy, my 8 year old daughter. For those of you, who don't, here it is in a nutshell.

When she was two years old, TF fell off a chair and chipped one of her upper front teeth. Everything seemed to be alright, until she was about four years old, and started complaining about pains above her tooth. Soon after that our pediatric dentist confirmed a cyst above that chipped tooth.
During an operation to remove the cyst, the surgeon found that the cyst had formed around what was going to be her permanent tooth. The cyst was removed, the tooth placed back into her mouth. And we were warned, that we might run into trouble with this tooth along the way.
Trouble did arrive, when last year her baby tooth fell out, and the permanent tooth made no appearance at all... ever. X-rays showed this tooth was there, but had no root. Our dentist didn't want to rush anything and told us to wait. We waited. Then we went back, did new x-rays, and still got the same picture. But now the tooth also blocked the tooth right next to it. We were told, that it was likely that they'd have to remove TF's "dead" tooth and put in an implant eventually. And of course the tooth to the left would have to get some help.

Today we had a consultation with an orthodontist. More x-rays were taken.
The result? THE tooth is alive and well, and it has a fully developed root. Plus, the tooth next to it broke through a few weeks ago.

Now what? Toothless Fairy will get braces in August to put the other teeth, that have started moving around, because they have too much space, back into place. In a few months, during a minimally invasive surgery the alive and well tooth will be pulled down slightly. They will attach a little wire, and the braces will consistently keep pulling the tooth down, where it belongs.

All of this should not take longer than about one year! This means, in less than a year, my Toothless Fairy, will no longer be toothless, and a new nickname will have to be in order.

What a relief! I cannot even begin to say, just how glad I am that my child will have her own tooth rather than some implant. Sure, there is more important stuff in the world. But I know already, that this child will always have a very special appreciation for her teeth.

Oh, and I should mention how cool she and her friends think all of this is. Braces now come in silver and gold. She has chosen gold. And she gets to have different colored rubber bands on all of her brackets. Maybe I'll start calling her Crazy Bracy... or something like that.

Another blog in the bloggy world

2009-07-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Come on over for a visit, if you feel so inclined. :)

The Humanist Mom.

Aren't they precious?

2009-07-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

My latest Portland Family Blog entry:

Aren't they precious?

Whaddup?

2009-07-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

1. It's summer. Like really. With sun, and water, and fresh fruit, and kids playing out in the cul-de-sac for hours on end.

2. I wrote a blog post for Portland Family, and I'm sure it's not popular with everyone. But I'm past worrying about how popular I might be. I am who I am, and this is what I write. :
It's summer... what to do with the kids?

3. I also wrote an article for Portland Family about the Portland Saturday Market. Scroll down to page 20, if you feel so inclined.

4. At this very moment I'm sitting on my shady patio with my teeny tiny laptop, a bowl of cherries, and a glass of iced water with a couple of mint leaves, and I must say, sorry mom, that cherries and water do NOT give you tummy aches. It simply ain't true.

5. And now for those medical professionals among you, a question. In the past 5 weeks I have put on about 7 more pounds. This puts me officially into the "overweight" category. Jeans are tight, and I'm very concerned, especially because there really is no reason why I should have put on this weight. I work out, I eat right (I mean this, I don't just say it.), and still...
I had my thyroid tested, but the only thing she found a little low was my TSH level. Everything normal is what I'm told. Nothing is apparently physically wrong with me, and yet, I feel like everything is wrong. I have been struggling with this issue for years, and knowing my own history, this is NOT normal. But what do I do? Who do I talk to? Any ideas? Advice? Experiences? Anything you might be able to offer would be greatly appreciated. I have bought a pair of pants a size bigger already, and I really don't want this to get out of hand.

6. Blue Eyed Boy lost another tooth. My gosh, they're growing up so fast. The new one is coming in already. *sigh*

7. Happy Fourth of July.

Littering...

2009-06-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

I guess it's a little weird, that I'm noticing this now. Of course I have always seen trash on the streets, on lawns, on hiking trails... But it seems, that for some reason I never attribute this trash to people, who might actually willingly throw their trash away. Maybe I was simply oblivious, or maybe the sight of a guy, throwing his cigarette out of the car window, is so common, that I don't think about it twice. Because, after all, they all do it, right? (Well, no, my father-in-law doesn't. He steps on it, and then puts it into his pocket.)

In the past couple of days, as I was driving or walking down the street, I noticed several people throwing their trash away. Wrappers, cups, cigarettes... They just dropped their trash, clearly not even thinking about their actions. Or if they did, then it was probably one of those "That little piece of trash won't hurt anyone," thoughts, that went through their minds. In two cases, the people were kids, throwing away candy wrappers, and it leaves me wondering, if this is not a lesson they are taught at home. Don't litter. It's one of the first and simplest lessons my kids had to learn. Aside from the obvious damage littering does to the environment, it's an ugly sight. Does anybody really want to see plastic cups, sandwich wrappers, plastic bags, cigarettes, and other trash on the streets? It's ugly! We create enough trash as it is, and our landfills are mountains of trash, but couldn't we at least try to keep our garbage there rather than making our cities into landfills?

As my family and I are consistently trying to reduce the amount of trash we create by avoiding unnecessary packaging, using our own shopping bags, and quite simply by buying less stuff, I am a bit upset by our thoughtless neighbor, who recently poured a suspicious brown liquid down the street drain. I am sad to see that a majority of people still live by the motto "The great flood after me" (a German saying, meaning, who cares, I'll be dead anyway when the planet drowns in crap). We will continue to improve our ways, but what's more important, we'll make sure that our children know what's right, and will want to do this too. It's really not that hard.

And now for the homeschooling...

2009-06-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

As others are taking their long awaited breaks from school, this family jumps into high gear next week, after enjoying a more leisurely spring schedule with lots of outdoors time. I had a conversation with Sarah, who inspired me to take a bit of a different approach for my summer schedule.

We will start our work at 9am and finish at noon. From a list of things that need to be done, they get to choose what to do first, second, third etc. We will cross off whatever has been done. Friday is our unschooling day, during which they get to work on anything they want to.

We will do this for four weeks, then take one week off, then start over. It seems to make no sense to me to take a 3 month break during the summer. The kids will forget everything they've learned, and at some point will get bored. At the beginning of the new school year, they'll have to redo work from the last school year. Where's the use in that?

The materials we're currently using are Math U See, Critical Thinking books for reading, grammar, writing, social studies and more, Hooked on Phonics, Bob Books, Handwriting without tears, and a couple of other workbooks.

And then, thanks to Rooster X and his lovely better half, we are finally going to start a "work for screen time" for our kids. We have taken a pretty relaxed approach to the kids' screen time, and it has totally backfired at us. So much for Extreme Unschooling. Sorry, folks, it ain't workin' for us. The kids get to do small, medium, and large chores to earn a certain amount of screen time. They're not in love with the idea, but they both understand. I'll report how that works out for us.

The nicest thing about this summer, though? Park days!! Long afternoons at the park with a bunch of really cool homeschoolers. There's simply nothing better than that.

And, what's going on in your lives this summer???

Random Ramblings :)

2009-06-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

1. There is simply nothing better than a quiet house. While I love the Oregon coast, I had no desire to join my family to admire the sandcastles in Cannon Beach today, so I stayed home, got some work done, watched some German TV, ate out, and yes, went through my blog scroll to see what's going on out there, in the bloggy world.

2. Leavenworth, WA is a truly charming, very small, German style village... with German food, German music, German style houses... and yet, I'm disillusioned after finding out that it really has no German history, but the "Bavarian" style (Ha! Why is everything German always Bavarian???) was simply a way to pull this small town out of a depression... by Americans. *sigh* It's genius, but not real... *doublesigh* ;)

3. At an adoption "celebration" at the court in Eugene yesterday I may have developed a bit of a crush for the middle-aged judge. Am I getting old?

4. Chocolate and lavender are an unexpectedly delicious combination. You should try it. It's from Dagoba, too expensive, but heavenly.

5. I'm sorry but Faber-Castell markers are THE best markers on Earth... not that you care, but well, I do.

6. I'm worried about North Korea and Iran and considering digging a bunker in my backyard. You know... just in case.

7. Toothless Fairy is getting a tooth. That is an unexpected and very good surprise. That means we only have to worry about one tooth now rather than two. YES!!

8. I actually managed to save exactly one picture from my SD card of my Seattle/Leavenworth vacation and delete the rest of them. This one picture is silly, but it proves I've been to Seattle. I feel so dumb for deleting those pictures. They were so good!

9. I'd like a new spine please with lifetime warranty.

10. Old German movies are so freakin' hilarious, I can't stop watching them... and that's why I'm done here now... going to watch one of those German-Bavarian-mountains-Dirndl-Lederhosen-sappy-movies. :P

Dale McGowan at work again... Loving it!

2009-06-02T22:51:00.001-07:00

Parenting Beyond Belief

The following text can be found on Dale McGowan's website:

Introducing…Foundation Beyond Belief

Being a humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead. — Kurt Vonnegut

I don’t give as much as I’d like to the causes I care about. I consider myself a pretty generous guy, and when I give, I give generously. But I get to the end of each year and realize that I just haven’t given as much as I wish I had. Again.

Another thing: When religious folks give through religious charities and churches, it registers as an expression of their worldview. I want that too. I want my contributions to “count” as a visible expression of my secular humanism.

Then there’s this: Multiple solid surveys by philanthropic research organizations like Independent Sector and the Giving Institute1 show that churchgoers give a much greater percentage of their income to charitable causes than non-churchgoers like me. Arthur C. Brooks (author of Who Really Cares) is pretty sure he’s got my number: he says it’s “evidence of a gap in everyday virtue” (p. 40) between the religious and nonreligious.

I think he’s missing something obvious. If people in Group A are asked to pass a plate full of the generous donations of their friends and neighbors and either add to it or not, 52 times a year, while people in Group B have no such regular and public nudge — I’d say something other than virtue is in play.

offer5400I think the difference has much more to do with whether or not you have systematic opportunities for giving than some “gap in virtue.” I speak at Unitarian fellowships and Ethical Societies all the time, places brimming with friendly atheists. And when that offering plate passes by, I give, and so do they, knowing that these places will use it to do some good.

The offering plate is also passing through a million mainstream church pews every Sunday, giving the religious an easy and regular way to give and to combine their giving with others as a positive collective expression of their worldview.

I don’t agree with those who insist religious people give primarily out of fear or guilt. That may be in the mix, but most I know give because they are challenged and encouraged to do so, because generosity feels wonderful, and because the habit of giving turns giving into a habit.

I want to do better. It’s time for those of us who are otherwise engaged on Sunday mornings to have our own easy and regular means of giving, one that focuses and encourages humanistic generosity and demonstrates it to the world.

Welcome to Foundation Beyond Belief.

> what it is

FBBlogoFoundation Beyond Belief is a new 501c3 charitable and educational foundation created (1) to focus, encourage and demonstrate humanistic generosity, and (2) to support a nationwide nonreligious parent education program.

The Foundation will highlight ten charitable organizations per quarter–one in each of ten areas (health, poverty, environment, education, human rights, and more). Members join the Foundation by signing up for a monthly automatic donation in the amount of their choice, then set up personal profiles to indicate how they would like their contribution distributed among the ten categories. Maybe you’d like to give 25 percent each to human rights, poverty, education, and the environment. We’ll distribute it accordingly. By year’s end, you will have helped support a dozen organizations in the areas you care most about.

The centerpiece of the Foundation will be a lively online community. Active members can join a social network and discussion forums centered on the ten categories of giving, upload videos, recruit new members, advocate for causes and help us choose the new beneficiaries each quarter. We’ll also create and host a multi-author blog of world-class contributors focused on the cause areas, as well as humanism, philanthropy, and the intersection of the two.

Carefully selected for impact and efficiency, the beneficiaries may be founded on any worldview so long as they do not engage in proselytizing. At the end of each quarter, 100 percent of the donations will be forwarded and a new slate of beneficiaries selected.

On the educational side, the Foundation will build the next stage in nonreligious parent education—a nationwide training program for parenting seminar leaders. We plan to have 30-40 people teaching nonreligious parenting seminars in cities across the country within a year.

We’ve begun assembling a stellar cast to guide the Foundation through its infancy. The Board of Directors includes Hemant Mehta (author, Friendly Atheist blogger, Secular Student Alliance board chair), Dr. Wayne Huey (ethicist, educator, author, former Georgia and U.S. High School Counselor of the Year), Trish Hotze Cowan (Sunday School Director, Ethical Society of St. Louis), and executive director Dale McGowan. (That’s me.)

The Foundation will launch in two stages. On October 1 we’ll unveil the pre-launch website, where members can begin setting up profiles and basic donations. On January 1, 2010, we will launch the full site, including the ten featured causes, all profile options, blog, social networking, and the means for members to select and change their preferred distributions.

We’re making no little plans here, and there’s the potential to do something pretty earthshaking. But this is a community thing, or it’s nothing. We’ll need your help.

> what you can do now

There are two ways to stay in the loop as we work toward the Foundation’s partial launch in October and full launch in January:

Facebook users: Click here to join the Foundation Beyond Belief group on Facebook Causes. No donation required — just keeping yourself in the loop.

Non-Facebookers: Click here to put your email on our mailing list.

Either way, sign up and we’ll keep you informed as it takes shape.

(Regarding donations: Our tax exemption process is nearly complete, at which time your donations will be fully deductible. We’ll let you know when that happens. If you simply can’t wait to donate, and don’t care if it’s deductible, click here.)
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1And the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University, and the 2002 General Social Survey, and the American Community Survey of the U.S. Census…the list goes on. The facts themselves are not in doubt.