1. Chocolate and portion control are like fire and water. It is impossible to keep the friggin' fire burning if you pour a bucket of water on it. BUT with chocolate you can trick yourself. You can take out one bar of the hellish good stuff and put it in the cabinet. Then you can take the box with the rest of the hellish good stuff and take it to the garage, where you put it on the top shelf right above the car. You have to move the car and climb on a chair to reach the shelf. Portion control: check!
2. It is extremely annoying to have hellish good stuff sitting on the top shelf above a car. You can't sneak chocolate. Everyone will notice when you grab the keys and a chair to go into the garage.
3. Toothless Fairy has a boyfriend, who is so smitten with her, he calls her once a day and they talk about nothing. She has him on speaker phone, and this is what it sounds like. Usually they make a sound and the other one has to guess what sound it is. Once he scratched his head, and laughed his ass off, because she couldn't get it. But yesterday she played the piano for him, and he was genuinely impressed. It was so cute. (Oh, yes, they're 8! LOL)
4. Toothless Fairy has inherited her father's genes. She sits down at the piano and makes music. She doesn't read notes. She just plays and it sounds beautiful. I feel like a minority in this family of musicians. I love playing the piano, but I am lost without my sheet music.
5. Blue Eyed Boy is wondering if the tooth fairy comes twice. He's bargaining for one more visit. He was told that at a friend's house she comes for every lost tooth. I told him, it's a recession and the tooth fairy union was discussing this issue. He said, it would make sense, but they really should still come twice. I said this sounded reasonable. Of course he has to lose that tooth first.
6. Is it time yet for my soon-to-be sister-in-law to give birth yet? I mean I've waited for about a week now. How long does it take to bake a baby??? Flippin' November!!!!
7. Washing laundry is the most daunting task ever invented. Too many dirty clothes form a huge Mt Laundry, and no matter how many loads I do, the mountain keeps growing. I plead for "Do your own laundry". This plea is not well received by the rest of the family. I guess it will not be a plea next time but a command, followed by my refusal to wash anybody else's but my own laundry. Nee-ner nee-ner nee-ner. (Still not certain about the spelling of nee-ner!)
8. I totally think we should have maids and butlers again. Weren't those the days? I could be a homeschooling mother to my lovely brood, and a writer in my free time, and when I leave the room, my servants will clean up the messes I leave behind. Make it so!
9. When someone flushes the upstairs toilet you can hear it in the whole house (like right now). This is the most unpleasant sound I have ever heard, and it keeps me updated on the bodily functions of everyone in my family.
10. Overdue notices from the library are probably the most annoying thing ever. They always hit me by surprise, and I have no idea, how I managed, yet again, to forget returning our books. Is there anybody out there who has never had to pay a late fee? What is your strategy for returning books on time? Enlighten me. I'm sick of late fees.
11. Pancakes are delicious, but husbands who make pancakes, and who ask you a thousand questions about where everything can be found, make you want to jump up and do it yourself. (Which I won't, because I just don't want to.)
12. It's back to Village Home next week, and while I love Village Home, and the community, I am not ready to go back.
13. Husbands who make pancakes, look in the refrigerator and ask, "Do we really have just one egg?" are either blind or not very bright. "Yes, honey, we really have just one egg." "Well, this is impossible. Nobody can do anything with just one egg." (insert annoyed sigh by husband here)
14. Hello there, little squirrel, sitting over on that fence watching me. I'm sorry you're out in the rain. No, I won't feed you.
15. Husbands who make pancakes and decide to get annoyed by all the egg cartons on the fridge are irritating. Maybe I could ask him to go back to sleep. Nope, I'm not getting up. I'm just sitting here blogging.
At least you are not alone. I am also in the minority at our house. I live in a house full of musical instruments, people who play them and one child who sings constantly. Me, I wouldn't know a musical note if it hit me on the head lol. Unfortunately for him, my son inherited my inability to play/create music but the girls and my hubby are nonstop music.
ReplyDeleteWhere did spring break go?! I blinked and it was over. Arg.
Gina
TF does play beautifully and creates beautiful music.
ReplyDeleteOf course the tooth fairy comes for every lost tooth! I've got a book about it if you'd like to read it. ;)
I often have overdue books/dvds at the library. I almost always know that they're going to be overdue but I just can't get there that day. I think of it this way, any fines I pay help to support the library and that's a good thing. :)
Spring break should be a week longer. Two weeks is just too short. Although, yes, I too am looking forward to returning to Village Home.
If you figure out the maids and butlers thing, please let me know.
Ok, I'm with you on the laundry thing. I'd rather clean 10 bathrooms than do laundry. I'm thinking I could work a trade with some of the ladies in my neighborhood....
ReplyDeleteOh I am musically challeneged myself also. I understand :)
ReplyDeleteThe Multnomah County library offers an educator card that allows you to keep books for six weeks instead of three. Don't know if that would help, or if your county offers something similar.
ReplyDeleteMy children do their own laundry now. They keep it in a basket (that's the plan) or on the floor (that's the reality) in their bedrooms. Then, when they run out of clothing, they wait until I'm trying to take a shower, do my own laundry, or run the dishwasher to haul the laundry out and complain because they have to wait for the washer. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.
Regarding the chocolate.
Eat it all.
Then you won't have that temptation.
This is the same logic that I use when determining the serving size of a box of Thin Mints. One box=one serving.
Ami, I got all excited about the prospect of an educator card for Washington County Libraries. I called and sadly, they don't offer one. Big, huge, giant BUMMER!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know our philosophy better to "owe" the Library. Figure our money is being well spent. And just ask Rooster X about our late notices and the 4 library cards with a max number of books allowed to be checked out at 100 each......................need I say more.
ReplyDeleteHow about if Blue-Eyed Boy saves all those lost teeth and the Tooth Fairy comes and takes them all at once???
ReplyDeleteAnd my husband often remarks that there is going to be a new wing of the library built in my name. :/
I loved this post!
I love your ramblings.
ReplyDeleteRe: #9? Can I just share here a little tmi? Better to know your family's (ahem) "habits" than not to know and have to go unclog the toilet later!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ami.... eat all the chocolate now...no ongoing temptation... or obligatory sharing!
Gina, yes, we have a bunch of instruments too. But I think I'll stick with the piano and my sheet music.
ReplyDeleteShady Lady, you do not have my permission to show this book to either of my children. Our tooth fairy most definitely will not come for every tooth. ;) If it was up to me, she wouldn't come at all. It's a lost tooth, hardly an achievement. LOL Yeah, I'm evil.
Fiona, nope, don't like bathrooms either. I need the servant!
Erica, welcome to the club of challenged ones.
Ami, Washington County could jump on that bandwaggon, but for some reason they won't. Suckers!
Shady Lady, ditto.
Evonne, I do recall a conversation with your husband about that, when he refused to tell me just how much he owes the library. LOL
Rachel, not doing it. Nope! Ick, I'm starting to feel like a bad mommy. ;)
ispyu, thank you.
giggles, unfortunately I have experience with the latter as well. Ugh!!
As for the chocolate... I cannot and will not eat it all at once. I'll be so pissed when it's all gone tomorrow.
#13 happens in my house all the time. The one thing my husband can (is allowed to) cook is crepes. At least 3 eggs are needed for crepes. Good thing the chicken farm is right up the road.
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