As I'm going through the lyrics in my head I find it still holds true to this day. Every situation we found ourselves in, every mistake we made, and no matter how much or how little money we had at any point, what mattered most in the end, was that our hearts were still in it.
I have made a good many mistakes in 16 years, and quite possibly some that "can never be repaired" as Edwin McCain sings in his beautiful song. But then, I believe that I am the person I am today because of the journey I have traveled and the decisions I've made... good or bad. I own them. They're mine. I have no excuses to make, no responsibility to try to hand off to someone else. I'm the captain of my own little ship, and I am solely responsible for my actions. How's that for a realization?
Okay, I did have a little help from my therapist, who gave me permission to suffer, to cry, to resolve, and to move on. Yes, I know I don't really need permission, but sometimes you just need to be reminded of these things, because you are so angry and upset with yourself that you just don't think you deserve it.
I have had some dark clouds hanging over my head for quite some time. But I think I may actually see a ray of sunshine coming through those clouds, and I'm happily welcoming it back into my life. Life is about self-improvement. As long as you continue to improve you can't get stuck. Heck, even if you do get stuck for a little while, know there is a way out.